Greetings fellow
travelers. It has been awhile since I've written anything and I got a
bunch of shit bottled up in my poor old noggin that I need to spew
out before it explodes like a scene from a Cronenberg movie.
This is the first in
a multi part series about silly ass conspiracy theories, Obama
haters, and Tea Party whackos. Yeah I know I have several multi part
series that only got as far as the first segment. Fuck you.
There are many
conspiracies floating around. From Obama to chemtrails, aliens to the
Illuminati. So don your foil fedora and let's delve into world of the
batshit crazy.
In this day of
information at ones fingertips, ignorance is a choice. All one has to
do is pick up their goddam cell phone tap the little Google
microphone and ask it a fucking question. But if you are of the Tea
Party ilk, Google is part of the conspiracy and they had rather
remain ignorant or mislead. Short of electroshock therapy, there is
nothing that can be done about these people but to point and laugh.
And goddam it has been funny lately.
I'm so old, I can
remember when the crazy people were pretty much confined to the
street corners with their fucking cardboard signs proclaiming that
the end was near.
But now, because of
Al Gore inventing the fucking Internet, the crazies have gone main
stream. The same goddam Internet they think is part of the
conspiracy, no less. Thanks Obama.
Couple that with how
the bastard Reagan made it popular to hate poor people (even other
poor people hate poor people) the rise of AM hate radio and the
cocksuckers like Limbaugh and his clones commanding their sheep, Fox
“News” with intellectual evolutionary throwbacks like Hannity and
O'Rielly, the lunatics now have a commanding voice in society.
These people manage
to get elected. This happens because they appeal to the very fucking
stupid, the racists, the misogynists, the bigots... you know the
southerners.
Corporations found
out that they can tap into this and put their puppets into place;
just get out there and blame every fucking thing on immigrants and
anchor babies, queers and single mothers, the French and
abortionists, flag burners and ACORN, welfare queens and government
regulations, and the idiots will crawl over broken glass to get to
the polls to vote for them.
Let's talk about
their hatred for Obama.
Apparently among
many things he is supposed to be either a socialist, a commie, or a
fascist. Depending on who is saying it, he is sometimes supposed to
be all three at once.
The stock market is
at an all time high. Corporate profits and CEO salaries are in the
fucking stratosphere. Workers rights and wages are at an all time
low. If he is a socialist or a commie, he is the worst one ever.
There are hundreds,
if not thousands, of anti government websites and publications out
there criticizing Obama and calling him all kinds of seditious names.
As a fascist dictator that allows them to get away with it, he is the
worst fascist dictator ever.
Also he is supposed
to be a Muslim. He is pro womens rights, eats bacon, drinks beer, and
lets his daughters and wife go outside with their faces uncovered.
Worse Muslim ever.
He was born in
Kenya, his birth certificate is fake, and he somehow managed to time
travel back to early 1960s Hawaii and put his birth announcement in
two different newspapers there. To bad he didn't think of giving
himself a less radical sounding name when he was busy altering the
timeline.
Now he is planning
on invading Texas.
No shit. Invading
fucking Texas. The stupid on this conspiracy theory burns the skin
when it touches it so please be careful handling it.
Keep in mind that
this isn't just a handful of nutjobs saying this. The goddamn
governor of Texas put the state national guard on alert, apparently
to ward off Obama and his army or drones or Klingon shock troops or
whatever-the-fuck he plans to invade with.
Just use the
Illuminati controlled Google and type in “Jade Helm” for the full
story.
In the future, look
for Obama to outlaw meat as soon as he confiscates all the guns,
force everyone to be a vegetarian and to get gay married, and to get
a barcode tattoo printed on your hand or forehead for easier
government identification.
This will all
probably happen in his third term.
Stay tuned for the
next segment. I haven't decided which topic to cover yet. Perhaps
Planned Parenthood and its Nazi ties or chemtrails. We'll see.
