The Abominable List of Abominations.

The old Bronze Age fairy tale that people call the Holy Bible has its god naming off some of the things it believes to be abominations.
Most of them I am sure you have already heard: Men cornholing other men as they would cornhole a woman, eating bacon (despite the same god making bacon taste so fucking good and making a whole goddam animal out of it), wearing poly blend slacks, mixing your seeds up in your garden, having contact with a woman who is shopping for tampons, etc.
I suppose those are all fine abominations if you are one to believe in talking snakes and virgin births, but my list of abominations is better.
That's right. I have my own list of abominations. And my abominations are more abominable.
So, in no particular order, here are are a list of things that I find as an abomination in my eye:
1. Walking around with the waist of your pants below the crotch. Neither I, the talking snake, nor anyone else gives a shit about seeing your drawers. You are an abomination in my eye. If you do it, don't cry when everyone in society points and laughs at you.
2. Escargot and caviar. I can't believe that the Almighty has no problem with this slimy abomination, yet declared bacon and pork chops off limits. You eat either of those disgusting vomit inducers, you are truly an abomination in the eyes of me, the Lord, Satan and just about anyone else. Either that, or you are French. Which is almost an abomination in itself.
3. Playing rap "music" on anything other than earphones is an atrocious abomination. Subjecting anyone to that fucking shit should be an automatic sentence of listening to Charlie Daniels fiddle for 7 straight days. Harsh, I know. But the point needs to be put across.
4. Jersey Shore. Enough said.
5. Any religion created after 1400 AD. Fucking hell! Wasn't there enough goddam religions before the age of enlightenment? Mormonism. Seriously? Planet Kolob? And what the fuck is the deal with Scientology? That was invented in the 1950s! I was born in the 1950s! Surely by then we had enough goddam religions? (we had enough goddam states too, I'm looking at you Alaska)
6. Twilight. See number 4.
7. Candy bars being turned into ice cream. What the fuck? Am I not fat enough?
8. Putting mayonnaise on a goddam hot dog. I personally don't believe in the death penalty, but this abomination almost makes me reconsider it.
9. Wearing sandals with over the calf black socks. This dress code abomination almost ranks up there with number 1. If you were planning on wearing socks to begin with, why the fuck did you think that you should put on sandals? Truly an abomination even to those of us who are fashion challenged.
10. Using a cell phone in a movie theater. States and local governments pass laws all the time about using a cell phone while operating a motor vehicle, but ignore this abomination. It is high time we wrote our congressman and demanded legislation outlawing this abominable act. Patrons should have the right to seize and destroy these devices upon demand.
Well, there you have it. A list of true abominations. I have more, but I thought I would stop at 10. I may list more later.
At the moment, my co-workers are coming back in from their Chick-fil-a run to support the expressing of traditional biblical marriages, so I need to look like I am busy.
So far none came back with additional wives or concubines. Some came back with hamburgers because they didn't want to wait in a long line with their fellow fag bashers. I suppose it was to long to wait for cock.

Did Jesus Like His Waffle Fries With a Side of Bigot?

The Chick-Fil-A boss Dan Cathy stirred up controversy when he told the Baptist Press recently that the company was "guilty as charged" when it came to not supporting marriage equality and standing by biblical family values.
Many saw this as slur towards gay marriage, and reasonably so, as the chicken fast food franchise has long supported organizations that actively opposed gay marriage.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/sexuality/chickfila.asp

The Jim Henson group, who was supplying toys for the companies version of the Happy Meal, decided to drop relationship with the company over the statements.
Many people have vocally voiced outrage and threatened to never eat there again.
Of course the people on the right saw this as persecution towards good Christians and squawked fowl over the whole thing.
They sent out all kind of emails saying that the "Socialists, aka Obama Democrats, have declared war on Jesus" or some equally idiotic bullshit.
In response to the lefts promise of boycott, they have promised to step up their chin greasings at Chick-Fil-A.
August 1st is supposed to be a day of glory as all god fearing Christoids gather at their local Chick-Fil-A restaurants, presumably to cluck around mouth fulls of cock and praise the wonderful world of traditional biblical marriage.
As they gobble their chicken and shove ketchup slathered waffle fries in their mouths, all in the name of godly marriage principals, one can't help but wonder if they are following Dan Cathy's "guilty as charged" philosophy. After all, he also mentioned how all of them were still married to their first wives.
As they bless their greasy fast food in His name, will they think about their former spouses? Or will they purge those thoughts as they concentrate on praying away Obama's socialistic and evil gay marriage support?
It is quite obvious that people, especially women, who support "traditional biblical marriage principals", have probably never read the bibles scriptures on marriage.
Women have little or no say so on marriage.
Men can have more than one wife and as many concubines as he wants.
Guess what the Holy Bible's penalty is for a man who rapes a virgin woman? The rapist must marry the woman. Yeah that's right. And the rape victim has no say so in the whole thing.
Are these the "traditional biblical marriage principals" that we should all, as a society, support?
If this is the undisputed word of God, how come we only follow just parts of it?
Is Christianity like a Chinese Buffet, where we pick the parts we like and ignore the parts we don't? Obviously it is.
Now as far as the boycott goes, do I think I it will be effective? Probably not. In fact, for a short time I bet Chick-Fil-A will see a surge in business as the bigots swarm the places, basking in the warm glow of being in the company of so many more homophopes while shoving chicken meat in their pie holes.
Eventually something else will come along and people will forget all about Cathy and his traditional Christian values and move on to the next thing to be outraged or feel persecuted over.
However, Chick-Fil-A must have had some concerns about it as they went into damage control.
They released a statement saying that the Jim Henson toys presented a safety hazard so it was them that severed the ties. An obvious defiance of the 9th commandment, but evidently acceptable to break if your bottom line is threatened.
Time will tell.
Until then, keep fucking that chicken.