Worst Apocalypse Ever

Well, another apocalypse has came and gone and the earth is still here.

The NRA is still here too. That asshole with the French name came out a few minutes ago and called for a cop at every school.

I guess we need that because we don't want our children living in a police state.

Bill O'Reilly can still hype up the War on Christmas. Happy Holidays, Bitch!

Boehner's "Plan B" is a failure. Maybe Plan C was the apocalypyse. If so, that failed too.

The so called fiscal cliff is still a reality. Fuck it. Leap off that mother fucker.

It is still seven goddam months until Breaking Bad comes back on. How many fucking raptures and shit between now and then?

Quentin Tarantino's movie "Django Unchained" starts on Christmas Day. I can't think of a better way to spend my money.

Obama is still the president, and while I think he is a marginally good president at best, he is light years ahead of what our alternative was. Plus the Republican tears are soooo fucking sweet.

The KKK is still here and are protesting the Westbourgho Baptist assholes. Dunno which side I should root for. Is it wrong to want both of them to be hit by a big fucking bus simultaneously?

Just some observations.

Asshole of the Week - Al From Dadeville

This edition of Asshole of the Week goes to “Al from Dadeville”.
This piece of shit saw fit to poison the Toomer Trees at the Auburn University after the Alabama Crimson Tide lost to Auburn this past season.
The motherfucker identified himself as Al from Dadeville when he called into the Paul Finebaum radio show to brag about his deed.
These trees are estimated to be around 130 fucking years old.
Think about that.
130 years ago was 1881. Chester A. Arthur was president then. He became president following the assassination of James Garfield.
The trees were already pretty good size when the Spanish American War broke out.
They were there through World War I, World War II, Suffrage, the Civil Rights Movement, the Space Race, and many other events that I can't even fucking think of right now.
They were here all that time, just to be poisoned by some asshole Alabama fan.
What the fuck is wrong with people? How can anyone have that much hatred for a rival school to do something like this?
I am a die hard Roll Tide fan and always will be. This bastard does not speak for me or anyone else. Anybody at the University of Alabama that knows who did this should turn him in immediately.
I hope criminal and civil charges are brought up on this bastard and the courts make a goddam example out of him.
This bastard is pussy and a coward. He doesn't deserve to any national attention other than his fucking trial.
Auburn University said they will do everything they can to save the trees, but the outlook is bleak. The poison he used evidently is made to kill trees and he dosed the fuck out of the ground around them.
I hope resulting litigation bankrupts his ass and he has no choice but to seek employment in the lumber industry. Make him bust his ass day in and day out for the rest of his miserable life.

Asshole of the Week - President Obama

This edition of ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK goes to, President Obama.
Obama in continuing his tradition of trying to emulate The Bastard Reagan, signed an executive order freezing the pay raises of civil service employees for 2 years.
"Despite the sacrifices that I knew a pay freeze would entail for our dedicated civil servants, I concluded that a two-year freeze in the upward statutory adjustment of pay schedules is a necessary first step in our effort to address the challenge of our fiscal reality," Obama lied.
Civil service employees normally make less than their private sector counterparts, sometimes up to half as much.
Obama gives the royal, no lube, ass fucking to working class families while compromising, without even so much as an argument, to give 880 billion fucking dollars to the millionaires and billionaires.
This is just another step in the Republican wet dream of destroying all government agencies and replacing it with big corporations.
This is unforgivable.
Other than the repeal of DADT, and getting a watered down Health Care Reform passed, what would really be the different if Grandpa and the Swimsuit Model had won the election instead?
Obama, I expected more of you.
I expected a fighter. Not a pussy.
I expected a champion of people. Not another corporate whore.
Obama, are you getting bad advice from somebody?
Do you think that if you continue to give everything to the fucking Republicans that they might not notice that you are black and pretend to like you?
What the fuck, man?
Yes, I would love to see my country united again. That ain't going to happen soon. Until then, it would be fucking nice to see my side doing the ass kicking instead of getting fucked in the ass.
I'm tired of fucking millionaires pissing on me and calling it trickle down.
What are you going to do next Obama? Bust up the few remaining labor unions?
I guess I had better shut up before he gets some more ideas to please his corporate masters.
Fuck it.
Obama, you are an asshole.

Asshole of the Week - Judson Phillips

Well, it hasn't been a week but I can't resist. I have to put up another ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK post.
This time the coveted award goes to Judson Phillips.
This racist rectum is the president of Tea Party Nation. One of several prominent Teabagger organizations flexing their sphincters.
Between the farting sounds coming from the bastards oral anus, Phillips announced his swell idea of restricting the right to vote to property owners.
Yeah. That's right you stupid Teabagger living in your rental property. If your hero had his way, you wouldn't have the right to fucking vote.
Here is the belching buttholes own words:
“The Founding Fathers originally said, they put certain restrictions on who gets the right to vote. It wasn't you were just a citizen and you got to vote. Some of the restrictions, you know, you obviously would not think about today. But one of those was you had to be a property owner. And that makes a lot of sense, because if you're a property owner you actually have a vested stake in the community. If you're not a property owner, you know, I'm sorry but property owners have a little bit more of a vested interest in the community than non-property owners.”
The Founding Fathers also restricted women, blacks, and Native Americans from voting. But, hey Teabaggers ain't bigots! Honest Injun!
Seeing how that a good portion of the Teabagger voting bloc are not property owners, it proves the point that I have been making since these assholes sprang in to existence last year: The Tea Party leadership is actually corporations and wealthy individuals.
If they really were populists and regular Americans, would they be voicing their disdain for so many of their voting bloc?
Using their media mouth pieces, they stir up the dumbasses out there into voting against their own best self interest. Not only are these idiots voting to give our treasury to the Uber-Wealthy, evidently they are voting to take away their own right to fucking vote. Amazing.
I guess you can say these Teabaggers hate the troops too.
Hey, it has to be true. Statistics show that a very large portion of the enlisted in our military branches are not property owners. What the fuck, whoever heard of letting cannon fodder have a voice anyway?
So a Royal Fuck You, Judson Phillips, you America Hating racist asshole. And fuck your asshole friends and fuck your asshole apologists.
And fuck the horse you rode in on.

Asshole of the Week

Greetings Citizens and welcome to the first posting of what I hope to become a regular feature: ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK.
I would like to hopefully make it a truly weekly feature posting on a certain day, but the way I am, I'm sure that is unlikely. For awhile anyway. I may post more than once a week, or may go weeks without posting.
This should be fun though, and with as many assholes as there are, it probably would be easy enough to make an ASSHOLE OF THE DAY.
Anyway, pardon the smell of shit.



And the first Asshole of the Week goes to Senator Alan Simpson (R- Milk Cow Tits)
This heartless and evil bastard, trying his best to emulate Dick Cheney or Montgomery Burns, earlier this year said: "And yes, I've made some plenty smart cracks about people on Social Security who milk it to the last degree. You know 'em too. It's the same with any system in America. We've reached a point now where it's like a milk cow with 310 million tits! Call when you get honest work!"
He supposedly half-assed apologized for his remarks, but then he more recently went and called people who want to have Social Security available, “Greedy”.
Yes that's right, Citizen. You are a greedy person because money you expect to have available for you in your elder years, that money you have been paying in your whole goddam life, yes that fucking money... you expect it to be there.
What a soulless and shitty dick.
Yeah, you greedy fuckers should be happy to eat cat food and live in the street somewhere.
What makes people like him? Wealthy and comfortable in life, why the fuck do they have such disdain for people with lesser means.
Social Security is the back bone of 98% of every Americans retirement plans. It is needed. It has paid in by the people. And they are greedy.
You are an asshole Alan Simpson. Fuck you, you old miserable bastard. Hopefully I will live long enough to stop by, on my way to cash my S.S. Check, and recycle a pale ale on your grave.

Does Jesus Want a New Cell Phone For His Birthday?

Well, it looks like the fighting 777th division is gearing up for the War on Christmas again.
Every fucking year, around Thanksgiving, a bunch of idiots whip themselves in a frenzy on some perceived movement to remove the Baby Jesus from their Christmas Season.
Goaded on by assholes like Bill O'Reilly or other Fox “News” and A.M. Hate Radio personalities, these poor dimwits imagine that the atheists are conspiring with corporations and the government to make their shopping experience something less than Holy.

Jumping into the fray are the Religious Right, a loathsome bunch of self-righteous and holier-than-thou shitheads, who organize stupid ass campaigns to boycott business who say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.
I've heard these same fuck heads, all my life, scream and wail about the commercialization of the birth of Jesus, and now that some businesses seem to back away from exploiting a mythical birth and make the shopping thing more secular, the Jesus freaks shriek even louder.
So which is it, Holy Crusader? Do you want your Baby God selling the new X-Box game or not?
And really, what the fuck difference does it make?
This just proves the point I have said many times before; CHRISTIANS HAVE TO BE VICTIMS. Never mind they have basically been running America since its inception over two fucking centuries ago.
They JUST AIN'T FUCKING HAPPY unless they can feel like they are being picked on.
Why is that?
Why do they feel like if they are not ramming their Bronze Age fairy tale down everyones fucking throat, they are being discriminated against?
I will tell you why. It is just like a 9 year old kid that has figured out that their ain't a Santa Claus, but he damn sure ain't gonna admit it because Christmas is just a few fucking days away and, by God, he wants that new PlayStation.
They know that the whole talking snake thing is bullshit.
They know virgins can't have babies.
They know men can't walk on water any more than they can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
But, just like the 9 year old kid, they ain't gonna say shit. Because then they would have to admit they are wrong, and they have been duped by a silly ass superstition and are just as big of suckers as suicide bombers and Tom Cruise.
Then they could no longer feel superior while at the same time playing the victim. And that would be Communism. Or something.
Happy Mother-Fucking Holidays.

Shelby the Cock Sucker

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