Friday, August 27, 2010

A Fifth of Crazy

Hey folks, Mr. Phidias (formerly Space Trucker) here.

A few days ago I posted a few tweets on Twitter about what 20% of the U.S. population believe after hearing that one in five Americans believe that President Obama is a Muslim.
While I was basically using factual information, I was mainly just snarking on social conservatives, religious wackos, and conspiracy nut jobs.
Thinking on this for a few days, I thought that I would expand on it some. Not being hampered to 140 character limitation of Twitter, perhaps I can improve on the subject.
It does vex me as why a fifth of the American population could be so batshit insane. Is it really insanity? I haven't really researched to see if it is geographical within the U.S. boarders. Does anyone know?
I bet here in the South it is a lot higher than twenty percent. And the reason why doesn't take Adrian Monk to solve that fucking mystery.
Thinking about this made me start remembering other twenty percent mysteries.
I remember reading somewhere years ago that Nixon had a 20% approval rating on the day he resigned in disgrace.
Doing a quick check on the Internets I found out that many other stupid ass things were believed by roughly 20% of Americans. Sometimes it was a little higher, sometimes a little less, but well within the 1 in 5 estimate ratio I am using here.
Here are a few other brain numbing factiods about our 20% brethren.
20% of U.S. citizens believe that the moon landings were a hoax. They believe this no matter how much you beat their heads in with mountains of evidence and logic. I work at NASA and there was a guy who used to work with me that believed it. I even busted him in front of one of the last living members of Von Braun's rocket team. To his credit he didn't back down, even with the old German getting red faced and pissed off.
Just imagine the size and scope of creating an Apollo moon mission hoax. Thousands of people would have to be in on it. The Russians would be screaming that it was a fraud as we were in a race with them to be the first there. Doesn't matter, these dumbasses will believe it no matter what you say or prove.
20% of U.S. citizens believe in magic and witches and shit. What can you say about that? Sheesh.
20% of U.S. citizens believe professional wrestling is real. These people can be dangerous.
20% of U.S. citizens believe that it is a proven scientific fact that woman was created from man by God removing a rib from his side and to this day, men have one fewer ribs than women. No shit.
20% of U.S. citizens think that George W. Bush was a great president. If you tell them any different, they are liable to fling their feces at you.
Getting back to President Obama, 20% of U.S. citizens still believe that he isn't an American citizen and that his birth certificate has yet to be seen. This includes prominent politicians like Senator Richard Shelby, (R- Nitwit) who said to a crowd of idiots that he doesn't know if he's a citizen or not, because he personally hasn't seen the birth certificate.
20% of U.S. citizens believe that Tokyo is the capitol of China.
Hey. It gets worse, people.
20% of U.S. citizens think that humans and dinosaurs coexisted together a few thousand years ago.
20% of U.S. citizens think that the sun rotates around the Earth.
20% of U.S. citizens believe that Mt. Rushmore is a natural phenomenon.
20% of U.S. citizens believe that Elvis is still alive. A similar percentage can be said the same of Jim Morrison and Tupac Shakur (sp?) when polling those that are familiar with their music.
20% of U.S. citizens think that Hitler didn't commit suicide and managed to escape the Allies along with Mengele and other Nazis.
20% of U.S. citizens believe there are space aliens living among us. Hear that Lou Dobbs?
20% of U.S. citizens can not locate the United States on a fucking globe.
20% of U.S. citizens can not tell you which country the United States declared independence from.
20% of U.S. citizens have no idea how many branches of the U.S. government their are, let alone name them.
20% of U.S. citizens do not know who won the Civil War. I bet most of those are Yankees because here in the South, they ain't never gonna forget.
20% of U.S. citizens think that Jesus wrote the Bible. I guess he must have dictated while he was nailed to the cross.
20% of U.S. citizens believe that Jesus spoke English. In Shakespearean style prose no less.
20% of U.S. citizens don't think that bacon, pork chops, baby back ribs, sausage, and ham all come from the same animal.
20% of U.S. citizens believe that it was Saddam Hussein that attacked us on 9-11.
It would be great if they were all the same 20%. Unfortunately it is not.
My theory is that one in five people are born stupid and borderline insane. Depending on their environment they are in determines what kind of batshit nonsense they believe.
Next time you are with four other people. Try to determine which one is the nut job, if they all seem normal, guess what?
Man, just imagine if it really was all the same 20 percent? That mailing list would be gold! Priceless! You can sell anything to those ass clowns.
Later people.
Mr. Phidias-
Part of the 20 percent who think blogging will make a difference in the world.

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