Friday, December 28, 2012

Edward Current Reacts To Atheist Comments

Good Ol' Eddy, puts the non believers in their place. And only using the Bible and an Old Testament era laptop.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Fuck Rush Limbaugh

A great song dedicated to the Leader of the Republican Party, The Portly Porker, Tea Party favorite, drug addict, draft dodger, and all time number one douche bag of the decade: Rush Limbaugh.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Larry Eats The Christmas Monkey

I thought He was a monkey!
Some Christmas cheer from the David household.

Put Some Ice On That

Another reason that the youth today are fucking imbeciles, and are not deserving of the world they are going to be inheriting.
I don't feel so bad about the Republicans destroying the ecosystem now.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Worst Apocalypse Ever

Well, another apocalypse has came and gone and the earth is still here.
The NRA is still here too. That asshole with the French name came out a few minutes ago and called for a cop at every school.
I guess we need that because we don't want our children living in a police state.
Bill O'Reilly can still hype up the War on Christmas. Happy Holidays, Bitch!
Boehner's "Plan B" is a failure. Maybe Plan C was the apocalypyse. If so, that failed too.
The so called fiscal cliff is still a reality. Fuck it. Leap off that mother fucker.
It is still seven goddam months until Breaking Bad comes back on. How many fucking raptures and shit between now and then?
Quentin Tarantino's movie "Django Unchained" starts on Christmas Day. I can't think of a better way to spend my money.
Obama is still the president, and while I think he is a marginally good president at best, he is light years ahead of what our alternative was. Plus the Republican tears are soooo fucking sweet.
The KKK is still here and are protesting the Westbourgho Baptist assholes. Dunno which side I should root for. Is it wrong to want both of them to be hit by a big fucking bus simultaneously?
Just some observations.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A tow truck driver has the worst day of his professional career. (so far)

... A Thousand Words

Here are some pictures I have came across on the Internets in the last couple of days.
I think I will just let them speak for themselves.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Old Dead Hands.

Remember this?
Back in the 20th century, sad has-been Charleton Heston challenged then Vice President Al Gore to pry that flintlock or musket or whatever the fuck it is out of his "cold dead hands".
Notice he didn't hold up a goddam assault rifle with a 30 round banana clip, did he?
It was easy to make that defying stand as no one was concerned about a fucking Daniel Boone gun.
To bad Al Gore didn't take him up on it.
Responsible gun owners are one thing.
The NRA is another.
They are just a lobbying group for the gun manufacturers and mouthpiece of the Republican Party.
They stoke fear and hate into the stupid people of our country and keep the fire burning as hot as possible.
They have spawned an idiotic sub-culture that worships guns and fears the government.
It is time to do something. It is time to make the NRA as outdated and about as useful as that fucking muzzle loader of Hestons.
Fuck the NRA.

The Fuckit List

Inspired by the Bucket List that many people are keeping, the Fuckit List is my roster of things that I have no longer a desire to do or never intended to do in the first goddam place.
It is ever growing, but here are some of the things in no particular order that I have said Fuckit to so far.

1. Putting up Xmas decorations. Bah-fucking-humbug. The only thing worse than dragging that tangled mess out of the basement or attic and risking breaking your fucking neck putting it up, is taking it all back down. Santa and Baby Jesus can kiss my ass.
2. Seeing a movie starring Emenem or M&M or however the fuck you spell it.
3. Visiting Mexico. If I ever get the desire to visit some third world shithole with a bunch of Spanish jabbering people looking at me suspiciously, I will just drop in at the Tyson chicken processing plant in Baileyton, Al.
4. Snow skiing. Yeah, risk breaking bones while freezing my fucking ass off the whole time.
5. Swimming with the dolphins. Fuck that. You swim with them. I'll watch it on Youtube. Well, honestly, I probably won't do that either. Unless something funny happens. Then maybe.
6. Attending a hip-hop concert. What the fuck is hip-hop anyway? Rap with out the cussing?
7. Attending a Country and Western concert. If ever desire to see a bunch of drunken, yodeling and fiddling rednecks, I'll just go down the street a few blocks from my home.
8. Attending a Professional Wrestling event. See number 7.
9. Eating caviar. Ok. I tried it once. I don't care what anyone says, I think it is a joke someone pulled to see if they could get rich snobs to eat slimy glop. Kind of like the fable of the king with the invisible clothes.
10. Running with the bulls. The stupidity of that activity should be self explanatory. Besides, whenever I have seen it on TV, I always pulled for the bull. Be my luck the bull would score on my fat ass if I got out there now.

Well, that is part of my Fuckit List. I thought about typing some more of them here, but fuck it.

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Root of All Evil Part One

Let's play pretend.
Pretend you are godawful fucking rich. I mean so insanely wealthy that you will never have to worry about money the rest of your life. Neither will your kids, grand kids, or great grand kids.
You can do anything you want in this world that is physically or technologically possible to be done. Anything. You could fly to Paris for fucking breakfast whenever you want. Build your own goddam spaceship if you wanted to. Buy the fucking bar you are getting hammered at because you ain't ready for the last call.
That kind of rich.
What could be left to give you pleasure?
Well, if you are an American gazillionaire, you would probably find the only pleasure left is in making other people miserable.
Take your typical "job creator".
He and his homies come into a community. They notice that it has a manufacturing plant that is pretty much the anchor of the towns economy.
They then buy into it, aquiring a majority of the stocks. Borrow against the assets, give themselves HUGE fucking bonuses, then drive the company into the dirt causing it to go bankrupt, wiping out any pensions the workers may have or nullifying any labor contract that may be in place.
Remember, they are already richer than God before they did this.
This destroyed company is now worthless and can be bought up for pennies on the dollar. And since their probably is still a demand for whatever it was they were making, the whole kit and kaboodle is sent to China for the exploitation of slave children in sweat shops. This, of course, drives the stock up and the millionaire bastards get even fucking richer.
Now to be able to do this type of atrocity you would have to completely sever yourself from any empathy you may have for your fellow countrymen.
If you had compassion, it would be very discomforting to know that a wife was weeping in fear of the uncertain future, held tightly in her laid off husbands arms who was vainly whispering that things would be ok and he would find work somewhere.
To know that the kids would be told that Santa would not be coming this year, like he did last year, would cause normal compassionate people varying degrees of guilt and shame for causing it.
As a filthy rich millionaire, you would not only find these things pleasurable, you would, much like a sex addict, feverishly trying to pound out one more dry orgasm from his raw and abused member, while watching people exploited on underground porn, exploit the very same people you sent into bankruptcy as moochers and takers.
You would yell that they should quit drawing unemployment insurance and get off their lazy entitled asses and get to work.
You would gleefully point out that they should simply pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
You would whisper to a fellow millionaire, "Hey check this out. See if I can do it with a straight face", and then tell all these broken and destroyed families that you can help them by giving yourself yet another tax cut, after all you are a job creator.
If any displaced worker manages to have his voice heard, simple shout over it with all of the media you own and tell him he is in the place he is because it is the unions fault.
You could run for president. After all, George W. Bush got to be president for his own personal pleasure.
If that fails because your friends voter suppression scheme didn't work as planned, their would be no need to feel down.
Their are tons of working class people out there that you can exploit to get your spirits up.
Pull the strings of your state level politicians. Make them ramrod a union busting law through in the middle of the night in the biggest labor union built state in the country.
Do it during the holidays and consider it a Christmas gift.
Use the media you own to push for Medicare and Social Security cuts.
Offer as a compromise, making millionaire tax cuts permanent, to any ideas of letting the Bush era tax cuts expire as they were designed to do. Don't worry. The legislative politicians you are controlling have no danger of losing their seats because of the creative gerrymandering you engineered.

End Part 1.

The recent school shootings has put me off on writing this post for awhile. I will finish it up later.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

GOP: Close The Door On The Way Out

I remember this time four years ago, I thought that there could not be a more lopsided presidential race.
After all, Grandpa McCain had just picked an unvetted former swimsuit model to be his running mate, on top of coming off of the worse White House administration in the countries history.
The GOP was in a death spiral.
Then two years later, the fringe lunatics of the party managed to seize power in the mid terms, exploiting the fears of racists and imbeciles that the evil black man was going to take their guns from them and force them to marry a queer.
With that bunch or morons calling the shots, the GOP ran one helluva wacky ass clown car of a primary finally having to settle on a Massachusetts liberal they hated almost as much as they hated Obama. 
This lopsidedness makes 08 laughable.
Basically all Obama has to do now is just sit back and watch the implosion.
And that is what is happening with the GOP. Imploding. Ever seen a movie with a submarine having a hull breach? The vessel crumples in on itself.
That is what the Romney campaign looks like. It is not a slow motion train wreck as depicted by so many. It is a massive turd that has collapsed from its own weight and is now drying in the sun. A smudge of shit that is so massive, that people can not help but point and laugh while simultaneously being shocked and disgusted.
Sad really. While I was intending to give my vote to Obama, I was hoping that he would have to fight for it. Or at least act like he had to break a sweat to get it.
There is stuff to be critical of Obama and his first term. Unfortunately, he doesn't have to address that now. 
The GOP couldn't or wouldn't focus on an honest debate. Instead they elevated idiocy like the Birthers and tin foil hat wearing nutjobs to a national level and ran with that.
That was the only way they saw to be able to keep from having to pay their fair share of taxes.
Republican Party... It has been a hoot, but you won't be missed. Well, maybe a little... Like a toothache.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Abominable List of Abominations.

The old Bronze Age fairy tale that people call the Holy Bible has its god naming off some of the things it believes to be abominations.
Most of them I am sure you have already heard: Men cornholing other men as they would cornhole a woman, eating bacon (despite the same god making bacon taste so fucking good and making a whole goddam animal out of it), wearing poly blend slacks, mixing your seeds up in your garden, having contact with a woman who is shopping for tampons, etc.
I suppose those are all fine abominations if you are one to believe in talking snakes and virgin births, but my list of abominations is better.
That's right. I have my own list of abominations. And my abominations are more abominable.
So, in no particular order, here are are a list of things that I find as an abomination in my eye:
1. Walking around with the waist of your pants below the crotch. Neither I, the talking snake, nor anyone else gives a shit about seeing your drawers. You are an abomination in my eye. If you do it, don't cry when everyone in society points and laughs at you.
2. Escargot and caviar. I can't believe that the Almighty has no problem with this slimy abomination, yet declared bacon and pork chops off limits. You eat either of those disgusting vomit inducers, you are truly an abomination in the eyes of me, the Lord, Satan and just about anyone else. Either that, or you are French. Which is almost an abomination in itself.
3. Playing rap "music" on anything other than earphones is an atrocious abomination. Subjecting anyone to that fucking shit should be an automatic sentence of listening to Charlie Daniels fiddle for 7 straight days. Harsh, I know. But the point needs to be put across.
4. Jersey Shore. Enough said.
5. Any religion created after 1400 AD. Fucking hell! Wasn't there enough goddam religions before the age of enlightenment? Mormonism. Seriously? Planet Kolob? And what the fuck is the deal with Scientology? That was invented in the 1950s! I was born in the 1950s! Surely by then we had enough goddam religions? (we had enough goddam states too, I'm looking at you Alaska)
6. Twilight. See number 4.
7. Candy bars being turned into ice cream. What the fuck? Am I not fat enough?
8. Putting mayonnaise on a goddam hot dog. I personally don't believe in the death penalty, but this abomination almost makes me reconsider it.
9. Wearing sandals with over the calf black socks. This dress code abomination almost ranks up there with number 1. If you were planning on wearing socks to begin with, why the fuck did you think that you should put on sandals? Truly an abomination even to those of us who are fashion challenged.
10. Using a cell phone in a movie theater. States and local governments pass laws all the time about using a cell phone while operating a motor vehicle, but ignore this abomination. It is high time we wrote our congressman and demanded legislation outlawing this abominable act. Patrons should have the right to seize and destroy these devices upon demand.
Well, there you have it. A list of true abominations. I have more, but I thought I would stop at 10. I may list more later.
At the moment, my co-workers are coming back in from their Chick-fil-a run to support the expressing of traditional biblical marriages, so I need to look like I am busy.
So far none came back with additional wives or concubines. Some came back with hamburgers because they didn't want to wait in a long line with their fellow fag bashers. I suppose it was to long to wait for cock.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Did Jesus Like His Waffle Fries With a Side of Bigot?

The Chick-Fil-A boss Dan Cathy stirred up controversy when he told the Baptist Press recently that the company was "guilty as charged" when it came to not supporting marriage equality and standing by biblical family values.
Many saw this as slur towards gay marriage, and reasonably so, as the chicken fast food franchise has long supported organizations that actively opposed gay marriage.

The Jim Henson group, who was supplying toys for the companies version of the Happy Meal, decided to drop relationship with the company over the statements.
Many people have vocally voiced outrage and threatened to never eat there again.
Of course the people on the right saw this as persecution towards good Christians and squawked fowl over the whole thing.
They sent out all kind of emails saying that the "Socialists, aka Obama Democrats, have declared war on Jesus" or some equally idiotic bullshit.
In response to the lefts promise of boycott, they have promised to step up their chin greasings at Chick-Fil-A.
August 1st is supposed to be a day of glory as all god fearing Christoids gather at their local Chick-Fil-A restaurants, presumably to cluck around mouth fulls of cock and praise the wonderful world of traditional biblical marriage.
As they gobble their chicken and shove ketchup slathered waffle fries in their mouths, all in the name of godly marriage principals, one can't help but wonder if they are following Dan Cathy's "guilty as charged" philosophy. After all, he also mentioned how all of them were still married to their first wives.
As they bless their greasy fast food in His name, will they think about their former spouses? Or will they purge those thoughts as they concentrate on praying away Obama's socialistic and evil gay marriage support?
It is quite obvious that people, especially women, who support "traditional biblical marriage principals", have probably never read the bibles scriptures on marriage.
Women have little or no say so on marriage.
Men can have more than one wife and as many concubines as he wants.
Guess what the Holy Bible's penalty is for a man who rapes a virgin woman? The rapist must marry the woman. Yeah that's right. And the rape victim has no say so in the whole thing.
Are these the "traditional biblical marriage principals" that we should all, as a society, support?
If this is the undisputed word of God, how come we only follow just parts of it?
Is Christianity like a Chinese Buffet, where we pick the parts we like and ignore the parts we don't? Obviously it is.
Now as far as the boycott goes, do I think I it will be effective? Probably not. In fact, for a short time I bet Chick-Fil-A will see a surge in business as the bigots swarm the places, basking in the warm glow of being in the company of so many more homophopes while shoving chicken meat in their pie holes.
Eventually something else will come along and people will forget all about Cathy and his traditional Christian values and move on to the next thing to be outraged or feel persecuted over.
However, Chick-Fil-A must have had some concerns about it as they went into damage control.
They released a statement saying that the Jim Henson toys presented a safety hazard so it was them that severed the ties. An obvious defiance of the 9th commandment, but evidently acceptable to break if your bottom line is threatened.
Time will tell.
Until then, keep fucking that chicken.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Playin' the Deadline Game

Here we are again up against another deadline. The last one, if you and no doubt, your 401ks will remember, was the debacle over increasing the debt limit that happened at the end of 2011. That song and dance number cost the United States its AAA credit rating and sent the market and consequently middle class retirements all to shit. Now, we are faced with doubling the rates of student loans, (which millions of people have and thanks to Bankruptcy reform a few years ago, can now never escape, no matter what the circumstances) along with a highway bill, that if not addressed, will bring infrastructure building and consequently many jobs to a standstill. The right will be hedging their bets on this one. (something they have lots of experience with) Do we push the issue up against the wall hoping for something else to blame on Obama? Or, do we back off and do the right thing and pass both these issues without demanding unrealistic and damaging cuts to programs designed to benefit the poor and the middle class? I suppose the answer to those questions will be whether it will be more damaging to them politically to cease pandering to the wealthy and pass the bills without deep cuts to the poor and the middle class - or - will it be more beneficial to hold tight to the stand that their normal corporate benefactors hold near and dear, paying for programs not with increased taxes on those who are already doing well, but cutting little snips here and there to things that benefit the millions of peons out here who have no money and thus no voice. What the peons do have, however, is a vote, if they will develop the good sense to exercise it in a way that benefits their cause and not the cause of corporations and the fat cats that run them. The jury is out. We will just have to wait and see.

Save Your Jobs From the Hoards of Illegals

I got an idiotic e-mail from my U.S. Rep. Mo "Babbling Brooks, blathering his bullshit about Obama is hurting Alabama by allowing some immigrants who already have jobs and aren't on the dole, stay here.
Look. It is simple. If you are working for someone that is a bastard enough to fire you and hire illegal immigrants, you probably need to take action yesterday.
And it is simple.
You and your coworkers organize.
If you are a member of a union, you have additional laws to protect yourself.
Forget all the bullshit you have heard about unions. They are all lies to make you and other stupid people scared and work for peanuts.
You want the good ol' days?
Well the good ol' days was when unions were at their peak and wages and working conditions were at their best.
Do you think it is only a coincidence that as the unions are being busted up, that job wages stagnate or drop? That companies hire illegals comfortable in the knowledge that there is nobody to protest?
Who do you think is your voice in D.C.?
You think it is a motherfucker like Mo Brooks?
No! It is the unions.
So, quit listening to shitheads like Mo Brooks or the scores of liars on A.M. radio. Turn the putrid sack of shit Bill O'Really and the rest of his Fox "News" liars off.
Take measures to protect your jobs.
That is what the fuck the whole labor organizing thing was about to begin with.
Organize! Talk with someone you know that belongs to a union. Get the truth about them rather than the incessant lies.

Or, you can continue quivering in fear and hope Mo Brooks and the Republicans will do something to save your job. If you believe that you are to goddam stupid to have a job and need to be replaced.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Of Democrats and Ducks.

Last night I was at my neighborhood pub, enjoying a few cold one with some friends, when I heard two of the guys I was sitting with mention something to each other about the "Democrats that just came in".
These guys had been giddy as school girls at a Justin Bieber concert about the Scott Walker recall attempt failing, so I thought it was some more of that shit.
Having been fucked with enough about that, I ignored them.
A few minutes later, they said it again. This time, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked them what the fuck they were talking about.
One of the guys nodded in the direction of a group of black patrons and said, "Those Democrats."
"What about them?", I asked. "And why the fuck are you calling them Democrats?"
Now I know as well as anyone that if an African-American is of a political mindset, they are more than likely gonna be leaning to the Democratic Party, but it still didn't make sense why they were referring to them that way. (If I had thought about it and hadn't spent the last two hours drinking I would have known without asking)
"We gotta be careful of what we say", said one of them. "Obviously we can't say what they really are out loud."
Not wanting to get into another argument with them, I just rolled my eyes and resumed my conversation with the friend sitting to my other side.
Later at home I started thinking about it though.
That made me think of a guy I know, named "Duck".
Obviously Duck isn't his real name, but he must have liked the moniker as that is what he referred and introduced himself to others as.
Anyway, Duck is one of the most openly racist fuckers I have ever known in my life. Especially when he has had a few beers on his belly.
He has been banned from just about every drinking hole on the north side of the Rocket City, a badge that he wears with pride. (I think, however, that the reason he gets banned is because he doesn't believe in tipping the wait staff or the bartender)
I only know the guy from the local pub establishments and never have done anything with him, but he did seem to cotton up to me for some reason or other. And it is hard to believe, but the guy is a pretty cool person on most things.
He is a skilled craftsman, he works hard has a carpenter in the construction business, something that is always going on in this area.
Shake hands with him and you can't help but notice that he has the heavily calloused palms of a man that isn't afraid of work.
But he is a piece of shit racist. Plain and simple.
I seen him storm out of a bar, leaving a freshly poured beer behind, because a white girl came in with a black man.
Unlike my friends I mentioned above, he doesn't call blacks Democrats. He calls them exactly as he thinks of them, and is not afraid to use the word in front of them, or anyone else.
I am surprised that he hasn't gotten himself a good old fashioned ass kicking, but maybe most people are afraid of him, or maybe they think he just isn't worth the trouble.
As horrid as the man is, at least you got to hand it to him for not being a pussy.
My other friends are probably just as racist as he is, but are way to frightened to be themselves in public.
These friends are good people. Both are engineers, one is active in his church and community. Professional and normally well mannered racists.
My thoughts are; which is worse? Duck, or the pussies?
And they are pussies. I only regret that I didn't take the opportunity to call them that last night.
I think I have come to the conclusion that they are worse than Duck. As bad as a racist is, a pussy cowardly racist is worse.
Racism is alive and well here in north Alabama. I have lived here all my life and I see it everyday. And I don't think that it is going away anytime soon.
I imagine some people reading this from a more progressive area might be a little shocked that bigotry and hate is still so open here.
But it is. And thanks to A.M. hate radio, Fox "News", and the Teabaggers, they have learned to keep it in the open. They just can't say "nigger" in public anymore like they would like to do. Well, people like Duck still do, but the rest are to scared to.
Much like my friends "Democrats" code word, they have substituted the word "nigger" when describing President Obama to Socialist, Kenyan, Commie, Nazi, or scores of other words. All done with a knowingly wink and a nod.
While the "Ducks" in the world are fewer, the cowardly version is rampant. They may have to whisper their racist jokes and use codes, when in public, but they are there.
And they are happy to let the Ducks scream at minorities and hold up misspelled signs at Tea Party rallies while pretending they aren't like that.
But I know the truth. So do they. So do you.
Let's quit pretending.
Racism is here. Yeah, most are old fuckers that will be dead soon, but many aren't.
It is very unlikely that I will live to see the south emerge from this backwards ass stupidity.
However, to any of my right leaning Alabama friends reading this, take note.
I ain't gonna just roll my eyes at your Fox "News" inspired politically correct bigotry anymore.
Say it in front of me, and I am gonna call you what you are. You already know you are a racist, so no reason to point out the obvious. But I will call you what you don't think you are: a fucking pussy.

Friday, April 27, 2012

The Fallacy of the False Equivalency

Distinctions drawn by the mind are not necessarily equivalent to distinctions in reality. Thomas Aquinas
You hear it all the time: "There is no difference between the parties". "Both parties are crooked". Blah, blah, fucking blah.
This mentality isn't something that accidentally came into being. No fucking way. It is a planned strategy by the Republican Party to create voter apathy and to either reduce voter turnout or send otherwise Democratic voting citizens to a third party.
I find it extremely disturbing that otherwise intelligent individuals are spouting this horseshit.
Take the whole Ron Paul thing for example. Here is a person who is running for president on the Republican ticket and has about a much chance of winning as I do.
Paul has managed to capture the attention of many people by promising to end the Forever Wars, legalizing pot, eliminating the Fed, (or anything federal other than the Pentagon) and hosts of other libertarian issues, some as looney as a Warner Bros. cartoon, some valid.
I know some very intelligent and progressive people who voted for Obama and are now upset because they didn't get a pony or something and now are going to throw their vote away by writing in for Ron Paul because in their minds, Obama is no different than Romney.
Don't get me wrong, President Obama has disappointed me greatly on many things, but to jump to the conclusion that he is do different than Romney is absurd beyond words.
While Obama has been less than satisfactory on labor issues, Romney has made it abundantly clear that he hates unions, enjoys firing people, and believes that corporations are people. Can you seriously say this is no different than Obama?
Romney has made his wealth (other than what he was born into) by taking over American manufacturing plants, closing them down and moving the work to China.
He would be an terrifying disaster to the working class of America. Maybe even on par with the Bastard Regan and the Idiot Bush. Maybe even worse.
Think of the Supreme Court justices this man would nominate. Do you honestly think that their would be no differences between those nominees?
During the 2000 campaign, Karl Rove pushed the "no difference" bullshit.
Look what happened. A significant portion of the American people actually didn't think their was any difference between the most liberal D.C. politician in years and a Texas fucktard that was so conservative, he made Regan look leftist.
How did that turn out for us?
Stop this false equivalency bullshit.
It is easy to call them on it. Very easy.
When they start their "I'm voting for Ron Paul, because their is no difference in the partys anymore" nonsense, ask them if so, why is Ron Paul a fucking Republican then?
Hell, at least when that shit was being pulled in 2000, Ralph Nader was a member of the Green Party.
Ask them, how come this shit ALWAYS favors the Republicans? All things being equal, the Democrats should get a bone occasionally, don't you think?
Lets face the fucking facts;
In January of 2013, it will either be Mitt Romney or Barrak Obama being sworn in as president. No Ron Pauls, no Ralph Naders, no magical unicorns. Get over your hurt feelings and vote to keep the corporate bastards out, or at least put the brakes on them.
Obama may not have given you your pony, but that is nothing compared to the horse dick size fucking your ass will get if Magic Underpants gets the job.
Think about it.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Squealing Pig, Crouching Shitbag.

Drug addled, draft dodger Rush Limbaugh recently got himself into some hot water over some remarks he made about a female Georgetown student on his pig squeakfest radio show.
As someone who hates women and has obviously no idea what the fuck it is he is talking about when it comes to biology, Rush ranted, among other vile things, that he wanted the student to post videos of herself having sex online so he could watch them.
Granted Pigboy has given a somewhat tepid apology for his remarks while saying he was tricked into making them by President Obama and the Democrats. Like most millionare white male Republicans, he is always the victim.
I have listened to his A.M. hatefest off and on for almost 2 decades, and in all of that time I have never heard anything that makes me think that Limbaugh likes girls in any manner, let alone wants to have sex with them.
His statements that the girl is a slut because she wanted to take contraceptive medication every day obviously meant she was having sex every day, shows that Limbaugh was so disinterested in girls while in school that he never paid the least bit attention in biology class. (I never paid attention in school either but somehow I found out that the pill works differently than the way Rush's Viagra does when it comes to sex.)
Rush wouldn't want to watch a video of a young lady having sex for the same reason most men would, he would would watch it for the disgust facctor, using the opportunity to make disgusting jokes and revel in being repulsed.
What puzzles me, and I imagine it puzzles the vile pig man too, is how come this was what it took to spark a national outrage and advertiser boycott of his sponsers? He has said much worse things in the past about women, underage girls, minorities, veterans , the poor, etc. without ever getting into trouble.
Back in the mid to late 90s, a homeless mans death made national news. He was a decorated combat veteran who served during the VIetnam War. I can't recall which branch of the military he was in, but I assume it was either the Army or the Marines.
Like many of the guys who came back from that war, this fellow had a hard time adjusting to civilian life and sank into the madness of mental disease. Living on the streets, homeless he sought shelter in a dumpster in some back alley. He was crushed to death when the truck came to empty it during the night.
The vulgar stack of pig shit and sewage known as Rush Limbaugh devoted most of his show making fun of the man. The man who had served his country valiantly in a war that Limbaugh was able to dodge the draft from, became fodder for his hate filled jokes.
Repulsed and disgusted at Limbaugh, I naively assumed that their would be some backlash from his vile statements by the V.A. or other armed service organizations, afterall he was broadcasted on Armed Forces radio everday. Nothing happened.
Around the same time, Pigman called, the then 12 year old, Chelsea Clinton the "White House Dog". Surely, I thought, even the most ardent and staunch conservative wouldn't condone attacking a young girl like that. Silence from the Right.
Year after year, the putrid porker got away with his vile attacks on people whose only crime was being in existance.
Now it seems that it finally has caught up with him, but lets be honest to ourselves. Even if by some miracle, Limbaugh is forced off the air, he is already one of the richest men in America. He will never really pay for his vilifying of verterans, minorities, and women. Karma is only a myth.
I doubt seriously that the disgusting bastard will go anywhere. His ratings are up, and he will find someone to fill the holes left by the fleeing advertisers.
Their will always be a market for hate, and no one is better at delivering it than Rush Limbaugh.
Women will always be defending themselves against social conservatives who wish to take their rights away, giving Pig Breath the material he needs to make fun of.
A whole new generation of combat veterans will be coming home after the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and will be coping with adjusting to civilian life. Unfortunately, many will not be able to do so easily. With the Republicans staunch opposition to funding for such things to help them cope, we will see many of them slide into poverty and homelessness. Some will die from the conditions.
Somewhere a disgusting pigman is squealing in delight at the thought of the show he will be airing.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Jesus Christ! Who Do I Vote For?

As the great state of Alabama casts its votes for the nominee in Gods Own Party, we should really take a look on which candidate best loves Jesus.
As a life long resident of the Cotton State, I feel fully qualified to make that call for you. You're very welcome.
While eating my cheesy grits and saying "y'all" properly at the breakfast table this morning, I was able to catch some of the candidates stumping here and in our ugly sister state of Mississippi (yes. she's ugly as a dog turd with the shit stomped out of it and smells about the same, bless her heart, but she is our sister) on the teevee.
As you may know, a recent poll showed that most of the self described Republicans in our two states believed President Obama to be a Muslim. After all he is black and has a funny name, so what do you expect?
Now Jesus may very well love Muslims too, (yes I know there is debate on that) but we here in the Heart of Dixie sure don't, and you can't make us! And no matter what the liberal media may be telling you, the Constitution does not apply to them. At least the Constitution according to what we hear on the A.M. radio and Fox News.
Now that the primary has taken its toll and trimmed the GOP nominees down (and got the woman and the colored fellow out) we can seriously start evaluating them.
The conventional wisdom is the front runner is Mittens Romney. Of course in our evaluation we will be throwing conventional wisdom out the door, as there is nothing conventional or wise about our decision.
Mitt is the son of a former CEO of a Detroit company that makes cars. Mitt's personal relationship with Christ is so strong, that he forsaked his own father and said that he would rather see Detroit die than get a loan from the federal government to bail them out.
Lots of love for Jesus there. His decision was the right one because we all know that the Detroit auto industry is plagued with labor unions and if one thing that Jesus has said more than anything else is; that labor unions are bad!
Alas, his words fell on deaf ears and the government went ahead and loaned them the money. Satan rewarded this blasphemy by making the auto companys turn around and start being profitable and paid back all the taxpayer money, thus allowing future generations to possibly think that government wasn't evil after all.
Mitts multiple stances on social issues shows that he is very versatile and can adapt to which ever way Jesus is thinking during that week.
Mitt has publicly stated that he doesn't worry about poor people, and this is a good thing because if one thing that Jesus has said more than anything else is; that poor people are bad!
Mittens has also proclaimed his love of firing people. Very few things in life can bring you closer to God than seeing the look on the face of an employee as you hand him the pink slip! Glory!
Mitt lead the legislation on bringing univeral healthcare to Massachusets, which became the blueprint of Obamacare. He has faced much criticism becasue of this and has explained it in full detail why his is good and Obama's is bad. You can  read all his reasons on his website and decide for yourself which stance of his you like best.
Mitt Romney is a Mormon however. There is much debate whether or not Mormons are really Christians.
For most of its history, Mormons would not allow blacks to be a member of their church. They changed this policy in the 70s and started allowing blacks to attend, which further re-enforced the Mormon critics of their true Christian standing.
Like many superheroes, Mormons wear magical underwear. Unlike Batman or Superman however, they do not wear it on the outside of their tights. It is not unusual for a Mormon to be seen donning a cape on an occasion.
Early Mormons were polygamist, at least the men were, and could have more than one wife.
This brings us to Newt Gingrich.
Newt Gingrich has recently converted to Catholicism. Catholics are much like Christians and generally follow the same rules as most. However they do have a problem with meat on Friday and condoms.
Newt has on many occasion proclaimed his love of Jesus.
Jesus guided him as Speaker of the House as he led the impeachment hearings of President Bill Clinton. Clinton had lied about having a girlfriend and gotten in trouble by Newt and other true Christians at the time.
The fact that Newt was having an affair with a staffer at the same time is irrelevant. Newt loved Jesus more than Clinton did. This is a fact of record.
Newt went on to be kicked out of congress and wrote a book about World War II that was so badly recieved that it was recycled into toilet paper.
But Newt is a changed man now, and can be seen praying whenever a crowd of people are around to see him. One thing that Jesus liked more than anything was public prayer! Yes sir!
That leaves us with Rick Santorum.
Rick loves Jesus so much. So very much.
He might not like women, gays, colored people, Muslims, Mexicans, Indians (both kinds), Democrats, Canadians, Klingons, or any other aliens, but he loves some Jesus.
He also loves fetuses. And we all know that if there is one thing that Jesus loves more than anything else it is fetuses.
Rick loves fetuses so much that he hates all kinds of abortion. Even when the mothers life is in danger. Except when it was his wife. But even then he brought the aborted fetus home so the other children could bond with it!
Other than having an unusal obsession with anal sex and some weird thing about dogs, Rick scores a very impressive score.
Let's break it down:
Romney loves Jesus almost as much as he loves firing people.
Newt loves Jesus almost as much as he does his future ex-wife.
Rick love Jesus 1000%, which is ten times as much as 100%.
Rick loves Jesus more than you could ever possible could.
Vote for Rick Santorum. Vote for Jesus. You need the points. 

Friday, March 2, 2012

Oils Well That Ends Well.

With the bastards in charge of gas prices "speculating", we are now seeing the GOP fucktards using the high prices in an attempt to damage President Obama in the upcoming election.
Obama probably won't be hurt too bad by their feeble attempts, because hey... look who they are!
But Obama could use this opportunity to really put a STFU on them by one simple challenge.
Now think about it.
The GOP and their zombies are still on the fucking "drill, baby, drill" kick. The manufactured rage over the stalling of the Tar Sands pipe line project, and the perceived notion that Obama is stifiling oil drilling has got them so worked up that they, alone, could probably end the energy problem if they could just find a way to bottle all the methane they are spewing.
The fact that NONE of the oil that is slated to come from the Canadian tar sands will be sold in America, nor any that may come from ANWR for that matter.
Here is what Obama could do to put a massive Shut The Fuck Up on them.
Make a challenge to congress to write legislation that says any oil drilled in America or is piped through America has to be sold in America. Promise to sign it into law with great fanfare.
Now, you and I both know that even if this were to happen, it would not solve any energy problems here. America hogs 25% of the Earths energy resources and can only contribute 2 to 5% back. But that is not what this is about. This is about putting a STFU on some loudmouth fucktards.
After making the challenge, Obama need only respond to any high gas price critics by saying give me the legislation to sell only in America and I will open up the drilling.
Oil companies will not support this because they are all having hard ons about selling it to China, so by default the GOP bastards will not support it, so of course it will never pass. The creative ways of listening them try to spin it as why they want to sell Americas oil to the fucking Commies would be very entertaining.
At lease two things could come from it:
1. It would educate many people on what drilling for oil really means. People would see that oil companies are really just there to make profit and could give a flying fuck about the American consumer.
2. Obama would have the mandate to push for alternative energy sources. Whenever an opponent to it speaks up, all he has to say is, "Where's my bill, Bitch?" Keep the bastards on the defense why they want to sell Americas oil to the Commies.
However, there is nothing in Obama's history that shows that he would do anything like that. I guess it would be to mean to make the Republicans put up or shut the fuck up, but it is a good thought.
Space Trucker... Out.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Random Shit on Facebook

I have a diverse amount of friends and aquaintances on Facebook and it does lead to a wide range of posts that come through my timeline.
Here are some I have seen in the last few weeks:

1. People really, really, really, hate having to press "1" for English on their phones.

2. Many people want you to pray for something or give praise to Jesus and put the dare on it that "90% of people reading it won't have the courage to repost it. Will you?"

3. Everybody fucking loves pictures of cats.

4. Ron Paul is the only honest candidate in the race.

5.  Forcing poor and unemployed people to take piss tests is ok, because they had to take one to get the their job.

6. Their is a war on Christmas. Well, not now but 3 months ago there was.

7. Nobody likes Facebooks new fucking timeline.

8. Obama is either the best thing for the country or he is the most evil apparition to ever manifest itself.

9. Republicans really, really hate women.

10. Republicans respect women so much that they are writing legislation to "educate" them on abortion.

11. It is not possible to write a headline about Rick Santorum without it sounding naughty.

12.  Alabama lawmakers continue to embarrass themselves.

13. Mondays suck.

14. Fridays rock.

15. Videos with guys getting kicked/hit in the balls are still very popular.

16. Daily reminders that Jesus loves you and died for you.

17. Contraception is bad. Mmmkay?

18. Contraception is good. Mmmkay?

And so it goes.

Actually this blog post was just another cell phone edition of random musings.
Because of the limitations of writing with a cell, I am sure their are tons of spelling and grammatical errors. No need to point them out unless they are so bad that they confuse the meaning of what I am saying.
Hope you have a good day. Or not. However you prefer it.
SpaceTrucker... out.