Monday, March 19, 2012

Squealing Pig, Crouching Shitbag.

Drug addled, draft dodger Rush Limbaugh recently got himself into some hot water over some remarks he made about a female Georgetown student on his pig squeakfest radio show.
As someone who hates women and has obviously no idea what the fuck it is he is talking about when it comes to biology, Rush ranted, among other vile things, that he wanted the student to post videos of herself having sex online so he could watch them.
Granted Pigboy has given a somewhat tepid apology for his remarks while saying he was tricked into making them by President Obama and the Democrats. Like most millionare white male Republicans, he is always the victim.
I have listened to his A.M. hatefest off and on for almost 2 decades, and in all of that time I have never heard anything that makes me think that Limbaugh likes girls in any manner, let alone wants to have sex with them.
His statements that the girl is a slut because she wanted to take contraceptive medication every day obviously meant she was having sex every day, shows that Limbaugh was so disinterested in girls while in school that he never paid the least bit attention in biology class. (I never paid attention in school either but somehow I found out that the pill works differently than the way Rush's Viagra does when it comes to sex.)
Rush wouldn't want to watch a video of a young lady having sex for the same reason most men would, he would would watch it for the disgust facctor, using the opportunity to make disgusting jokes and revel in being repulsed.
What puzzles me, and I imagine it puzzles the vile pig man too, is how come this was what it took to spark a national outrage and advertiser boycott of his sponsers? He has said much worse things in the past about women, underage girls, minorities, veterans , the poor, etc. without ever getting into trouble.
Back in the mid to late 90s, a homeless mans death made national news. He was a decorated combat veteran who served during the VIetnam War. I can't recall which branch of the military he was in, but I assume it was either the Army or the Marines.
Like many of the guys who came back from that war, this fellow had a hard time adjusting to civilian life and sank into the madness of mental disease. Living on the streets, homeless he sought shelter in a dumpster in some back alley. He was crushed to death when the truck came to empty it during the night.
The vulgar stack of pig shit and sewage known as Rush Limbaugh devoted most of his show making fun of the man. The man who had served his country valiantly in a war that Limbaugh was able to dodge the draft from, became fodder for his hate filled jokes.
Repulsed and disgusted at Limbaugh, I naively assumed that their would be some backlash from his vile statements by the V.A. or other armed service organizations, afterall he was broadcasted on Armed Forces radio everday. Nothing happened.
Around the same time, Pigman called, the then 12 year old, Chelsea Clinton the "White House Dog". Surely, I thought, even the most ardent and staunch conservative wouldn't condone attacking a young girl like that. Silence from the Right.
Year after year, the putrid porker got away with his vile attacks on people whose only crime was being in existance.
Now it seems that it finally has caught up with him, but lets be honest to ourselves. Even if by some miracle, Limbaugh is forced off the air, he is already one of the richest men in America. He will never really pay for his vilifying of verterans, minorities, and women. Karma is only a myth.
I doubt seriously that the disgusting bastard will go anywhere. His ratings are up, and he will find someone to fill the holes left by the fleeing advertisers.
Their will always be a market for hate, and no one is better at delivering it than Rush Limbaugh.
Women will always be defending themselves against social conservatives who wish to take their rights away, giving Pig Breath the material he needs to make fun of.
A whole new generation of combat veterans will be coming home after the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and will be coping with adjusting to civilian life. Unfortunately, many will not be able to do so easily. With the Republicans staunch opposition to funding for such things to help them cope, we will see many of them slide into poverty and homelessness. Some will die from the conditions.
Somewhere a disgusting pigman is squealing in delight at the thought of the show he will be airing.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Jesus Christ! Who Do I Vote For?

As the great state of Alabama casts its votes for the nominee in Gods Own Party, we should really take a look on which candidate best loves Jesus.
As a life long resident of the Cotton State, I feel fully qualified to make that call for you. You're very welcome.
While eating my cheesy grits and saying "y'all" properly at the breakfast table this morning, I was able to catch some of the candidates stumping here and in our ugly sister state of Mississippi (yes. she's ugly as a dog turd with the shit stomped out of it and smells about the same, bless her heart, but she is our sister) on the teevee.
As you may know, a recent poll showed that most of the self described Republicans in our two states believed President Obama to be a Muslim. After all he is black and has a funny name, so what do you expect?
Now Jesus may very well love Muslims too, (yes I know there is debate on that) but we here in the Heart of Dixie sure don't, and you can't make us! And no matter what the liberal media may be telling you, the Constitution does not apply to them. At least the Constitution according to what we hear on the A.M. radio and Fox News.
Now that the primary has taken its toll and trimmed the GOP nominees down (and got the woman and the colored fellow out) we can seriously start evaluating them.
The conventional wisdom is the front runner is Mittens Romney. Of course in our evaluation we will be throwing conventional wisdom out the door, as there is nothing conventional or wise about our decision.
Mitt is the son of a former CEO of a Detroit company that makes cars. Mitt's personal relationship with Christ is so strong, that he forsaked his own father and said that he would rather see Detroit die than get a loan from the federal government to bail them out.
Lots of love for Jesus there. His decision was the right one because we all know that the Detroit auto industry is plagued with labor unions and if one thing that Jesus has said more than anything else is; that labor unions are bad!
Alas, his words fell on deaf ears and the government went ahead and loaned them the money. Satan rewarded this blasphemy by making the auto companys turn around and start being profitable and paid back all the taxpayer money, thus allowing future generations to possibly think that government wasn't evil after all.
Mitts multiple stances on social issues shows that he is very versatile and can adapt to which ever way Jesus is thinking during that week.
Mitt has publicly stated that he doesn't worry about poor people, and this is a good thing because if one thing that Jesus has said more than anything else is; that poor people are bad!
Mittens has also proclaimed his love of firing people. Very few things in life can bring you closer to God than seeing the look on the face of an employee as you hand him the pink slip! Glory!
Mitt lead the legislation on bringing univeral healthcare to Massachusets, which became the blueprint of Obamacare. He has faced much criticism becasue of this and has explained it in full detail why his is good and Obama's is bad. You can  read all his reasons on his website and decide for yourself which stance of his you like best.
Mitt Romney is a Mormon however. There is much debate whether or not Mormons are really Christians.
For most of its history, Mormons would not allow blacks to be a member of their church. They changed this policy in the 70s and started allowing blacks to attend, which further re-enforced the Mormon critics of their true Christian standing.
Like many superheroes, Mormons wear magical underwear. Unlike Batman or Superman however, they do not wear it on the outside of their tights. It is not unusual for a Mormon to be seen donning a cape on an occasion.
Early Mormons were polygamist, at least the men were, and could have more than one wife.
This brings us to Newt Gingrich.
Newt Gingrich has recently converted to Catholicism. Catholics are much like Christians and generally follow the same rules as most. However they do have a problem with meat on Friday and condoms.
Newt has on many occasion proclaimed his love of Jesus.
Jesus guided him as Speaker of the House as he led the impeachment hearings of President Bill Clinton. Clinton had lied about having a girlfriend and gotten in trouble by Newt and other true Christians at the time.
The fact that Newt was having an affair with a staffer at the same time is irrelevant. Newt loved Jesus more than Clinton did. This is a fact of record.
Newt went on to be kicked out of congress and wrote a book about World War II that was so badly recieved that it was recycled into toilet paper.
But Newt is a changed man now, and can be seen praying whenever a crowd of people are around to see him. One thing that Jesus liked more than anything was public prayer! Yes sir!
That leaves us with Rick Santorum.
Rick loves Jesus so much. So very much.
He might not like women, gays, colored people, Muslims, Mexicans, Indians (both kinds), Democrats, Canadians, Klingons, or any other aliens, but he loves some Jesus.
He also loves fetuses. And we all know that if there is one thing that Jesus loves more than anything else it is fetuses.
Rick loves fetuses so much that he hates all kinds of abortion. Even when the mothers life is in danger. Except when it was his wife. But even then he brought the aborted fetus home so the other children could bond with it!
Other than having an unusal obsession with anal sex and some weird thing about dogs, Rick scores a very impressive score.
Let's break it down:
Romney loves Jesus almost as much as he loves firing people.
Newt loves Jesus almost as much as he does his future ex-wife.
Rick love Jesus 1000%, which is ten times as much as 100%.
Rick loves Jesus more than you could ever possible could.
Vote for Rick Santorum. Vote for Jesus. You need the points. 

Friday, March 2, 2012

Oils Well That Ends Well.

With the bastards in charge of gas prices "speculating", we are now seeing the GOP fucktards using the high prices in an attempt to damage President Obama in the upcoming election.
Obama probably won't be hurt too bad by their feeble attempts, because hey... look who they are!
But Obama could use this opportunity to really put a STFU on them by one simple challenge.
Now think about it.
The GOP and their zombies are still on the fucking "drill, baby, drill" kick. The manufactured rage over the stalling of the Tar Sands pipe line project, and the perceived notion that Obama is stifiling oil drilling has got them so worked up that they, alone, could probably end the energy problem if they could just find a way to bottle all the methane they are spewing.
The fact that NONE of the oil that is slated to come from the Canadian tar sands will be sold in America, nor any that may come from ANWR for that matter.
Here is what Obama could do to put a massive Shut The Fuck Up on them.
Make a challenge to congress to write legislation that says any oil drilled in America or is piped through America has to be sold in America. Promise to sign it into law with great fanfare.
Now, you and I both know that even if this were to happen, it would not solve any energy problems here. America hogs 25% of the Earths energy resources and can only contribute 2 to 5% back. But that is not what this is about. This is about putting a STFU on some loudmouth fucktards.
After making the challenge, Obama need only respond to any high gas price critics by saying give me the legislation to sell only in America and I will open up the drilling.
Oil companies will not support this because they are all having hard ons about selling it to China, so by default the GOP bastards will not support it, so of course it will never pass. The creative ways of listening them try to spin it as why they want to sell Americas oil to the fucking Commies would be very entertaining.
At lease two things could come from it:
1. It would educate many people on what drilling for oil really means. People would see that oil companies are really just there to make profit and could give a flying fuck about the American consumer.
2. Obama would have the mandate to push for alternative energy sources. Whenever an opponent to it speaks up, all he has to say is, "Where's my bill, Bitch?" Keep the bastards on the defense why they want to sell Americas oil to the Commies.
However, there is nothing in Obama's history that shows that he would do anything like that. I guess it would be to mean to make the Republicans put up or shut the fuck up, but it is a good thought.
Space Trucker... Out.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Random Shit on Facebook

I have a diverse amount of friends and aquaintances on Facebook and it does lead to a wide range of posts that come through my timeline.
Here are some I have seen in the last few weeks:

1. People really, really, really, hate having to press "1" for English on their phones.

2. Many people want you to pray for something or give praise to Jesus and put the dare on it that "90% of people reading it won't have the courage to repost it. Will you?"

3. Everybody fucking loves pictures of cats.

4. Ron Paul is the only honest candidate in the race.

5.  Forcing poor and unemployed people to take piss tests is ok, because they had to take one to get the their job.

6. Their is a war on Christmas. Well, not now but 3 months ago there was.

7. Nobody likes Facebooks new fucking timeline.

8. Obama is either the best thing for the country or he is the most evil apparition to ever manifest itself.

9. Republicans really, really hate women.

10. Republicans respect women so much that they are writing legislation to "educate" them on abortion.

11. It is not possible to write a headline about Rick Santorum without it sounding naughty.

12.  Alabama lawmakers continue to embarrass themselves.

13. Mondays suck.

14. Fridays rock.

15. Videos with guys getting kicked/hit in the balls are still very popular.

16. Daily reminders that Jesus loves you and died for you.

17. Contraception is bad. Mmmkay?

18. Contraception is good. Mmmkay?

And so it goes.

Actually this blog post was just another cell phone edition of random musings.
Because of the limitations of writing with a cell, I am sure their are tons of spelling and grammatical errors. No need to point them out unless they are so bad that they confuse the meaning of what I am saying.
Hope you have a good day. Or not. However you prefer it.
SpaceTrucker... out.