Thursday, September 16, 2010

Democratic Party or Alfred Newman? What, Me Worry?

Democrats have a remarkable ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
How the fuck could they lose to that idiot George W. Bush, twice?
Al Gore played mister nice during one of the sleaziest Republican campaigns in history.
John Kerry ended up having to defend (unsuccessfully) his military record as a combat veteran against Bush. Fuck me, people still actually believe that Bush was the war hero and Kerry the deserting coward.
With a filibuster proof majority until Teddy Kennedy died, you would think they would be a colossal behemoth of progressive legislation, hammering through Health Care Reform, Card Check, and other programs.
Alas no. Sadly they bickered and fought among themselves to the amusement of the Right Wing Nut Jobs and somehow managed to let the Republicans control the debate.
Now with Teabaggers winning primaries, you would think the Dems would be a shoe-in for victory on holding control of the Senate.
These idiots are beating out moderate and popular Republican candidates for the upcoming general election which give otherwise slim chance Dems a probable victory.
Probable in another universe perhaps.
In this world, the Dems will somehow fuck it up.
Jon Stewart and his panel explain it best.

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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Conservative Campaign Ritual

Yes, friends, we come into another campaign season ready to observe the right wingers doing what they do best, appealing to the conservative nitwits of the Bible Belt. If you haven't observed this phenomenon first hand, this is the campaign ritual engaged in by conservative candidates who proclaim loudly their Christian "family values" while in every instance, supporting legislation and casting their votes in favor of big business, big wealth, big insurance and big oil and against any governmental initiatives with the primary focus of assisting the middle class and the poor of our nation.

The following statement is a prime example of the opinion that Conservatives have of the poor in our Country:

''My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better.''
—South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer (R), arguing that government food assistance to lower-income residents, including food stamps or free school lunches, encourages a culture of dependence, Jan 24. 2010

Yet, the poor and middle class in the Bible Belt continue to put these assholes in office. Probably, because they only hear what the right wingers want them to hear, and they listen because they are hoodwinked into believing that because the assholes espouse "Christian and family values" they can do no wrong.

The statement below is illustrative of the planning that goes into the campaign rhetoric and the manipulation that takes place:

''We needed to have the press be our friend ... We wanted them to ask the questions we want to answer so that they report the news the way we want it to be reported.''

—Nevada Republican Senate nominee and Tea Party favorite Sharron Angle, during an interview with Fox News Channel's Carl Cameron, Aug. 2, 2010.

The gullibility is at the same time fascinating and frightening.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Twenty Rules To Die For

“Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.”
Henry David Thoreau

I've compiled a list of rules that, while may not do you any good, it won't hurt to remember them.
Some I've come up with on my own, some are paraphrased from other sources, and some I imagine belong to someone else entirely.
So feel free to use them anyway you like. Copy them verbatim, modify or expand them, or just stick them up your fucking ass. Anyway you want.
Have a nice day.

1. If you fuck with a fucker, you will get fucked every fucking time.

2. The day you leave home without wearing any underwear is the day a fart will betray you.

3. If you hire someone to work for you and only pay them enough to keep from quitting; they will only work hard enough to keep from getting fired.

4. An asshole that pays his employees minimum wage is only doing it because the law will not allow him to pay them any less.

5. If a fuck up causes a person or corporation to make a profit, look for that fuck up to happen frequently.

6. If you take a Republican at his or her word and you get fucked; you deserve every inch of it.

7. If animals were not meant to be eaten, they would not taste so fucking good. Pine straw, on the other hand, is not meant to be eaten. Take a bite of it and you will see why.

8. Hindsight is 20/20, but Conservative Stupidity is prophetic.

9. Never argue with a Republican. It accomplishes nothing and their breath probably stinks.

10. If you woke up breathing and this seemed surprising, increase the toxin level next time.

11. Cussing makes talking fun. Get over it.

12. When taking a shit in a public mens room, don’t tap your feet. Someone may think you are a Republican looking to give a stranger a blowjob.

13. If your boss pats you on the back, he is probably looking for a soft spot to stick a knife in.

14. Life is like a box of chocolates. It will make you fat and rot out your teeth.

15. If anything can go wrong, it is probably because a Republican had something to do with it.

16. A social conservative HAS to feel that he or she is a victim. Christoid persecution or discrimination for being a white man is usually the prevalent reasons in their delusions.

17. There is nothing harder than a preachers dick.

18. The Golden Rule: He who has the gold will cry about paying taxes on it.

19. You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but a social conservative is a fool all of the time.

20. A fool and his money will soon be tithing.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Burn Notice

It tells me, that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try *reading* books instead of *burning* them! Professor Henry Jones, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Well, another religiously insane bigot has captured the nations attention.
This fucktard in the name of Jeebus was going to sponsor a “Burn a Koran Day” in Gainesville, Florida on September 11th in the hopes of pointing out the evils of Islam.
The Rev. Terry Jones, pastor of the Dove World Outreach Center and author of “Islam is of the Devil”, is bleeding his fifteen minutes of fame drier than the tongue in the mouth of an infidel staked spread eagle in the Sahara Desert.
Update: As I am writing this, he is flip flopping and dancing around whether or not he will go through with it.
While those of you who know me, know that I am no more a fan of Islam than I am of Christianity, Scientology or any other silly ass belief, you do know that I am a HUUUGE fan of the first amendment.
This fucking idiot, and I am sorry that I am insulting fucking idiots all over the country by calling him that, has every bit the right to have his Jesus hates Islam BBQ.
Unless he's violating some city burn ordinance, let him have it.
Yeah this is going to piss the crazy bastards off but honestly, can we possibly piss them off anymore than bombing the fucking shit out of them like we've been doing for the better part of the last decade?
Instead of asking him to not do it, like some prominent leaders did, they should have just pointed at the goddam idiot and laughed like Hell.
They should have said, “See? We even let our batshit insane citizens have freedom of speech! After all, we are the home of Fox “News” for Christs sakes!”
They could have went on and said that the insane fringe society in no way speaks for the rational people of America. Hell, they have high paid speech writers, they could have come up with something that made the idiot Nazi look stupid and at the same time made themselves look patriotic.
Oh by the way, if you right wingers want us to stop comparing you to Nazis, QUIT ACTING LIKE ONE!
You know who the most famous fucking book burner in history is? Yeah, you got it! This motherfucker:
You leave your dumbasses wide fucking open to this comparison every time you bring up the book burning thing.
Seriously, what is it with social conservatives and book burnings?
Do books really represent such a threat to them that they have to destroy every one that they don't like?
Well, they don't read that much so they were told by Glenn Beck or some other hate monger not to like it.
I mean, I hate and disagree with Ann Coulter with every molecule of my body, but I have never advocated burning that evil cunts books.
Same with that idiot Sarah Palin. Since I don't agree or like what they say, I JUST DON'T BUY THEM! Not that hard. Plus I don't look like a fucking Nazi either.
Anyway, getting back to the religiously insane asshole from Florida, The last thing I heard from him say is that he will hold off his book torching if the so called Mosque in New York isn't built.
Comparing a book burning to the construction of a community center is so inane and asinine, it actually boggles the mind.
This idiot is going to milk this bullshit as long as he can. He will probably end up getting a Senior Islamic Expert job on Fox “News” for it.
Our corporate controlled media is going to cover this and distort it as much as possible in hopes that President Obama can say something that they can distort into stirring up more hatred for him and his policies.
They are doing this because they are nothing more than an organ for the Republican Party who wants to keep the Democrats and Obama on the defense trying to protect the Constitution.
Yeah, you hear that? The Constitution applies to Muslim-Americans too. I know that ain't popular right now, but they have as much of a right to their insanity as the talking snake crowd does.
If the media were really concerned with preachers with a message they would be covering that idiot from the “God Hates Fags” church. But that isn't politically viable for the Repugs right now because, for some reason they can't fathom, Americans don't seem to hate gays that much anymore.
Mexicans and Muslims are the new queers and niggers, and by-god they are gonna stir up that hate and spoon feed it to the open mouths of the hate mongering Christoids by the truck load.
So in summary, let the idiot have his “Burn a Koran Day”. The rest of us will observe 9-11 for what it was; a terrible day that three thousand Americans were murdered.
I believe most of the Muslim world will know that the book burning is not what we stand for. As far as the crazy-ass suicide bombers that will get riled up, they already hate us. And they will continue to hate us as long as we stay in their home and kill them.
I'm outta here. Gotta plan my Burn a Pig and Chicken slathered in KC BBQ Sauce Day on 9-11.
Steve the Space Trucker.