Friday, December 28, 2012

Edward Current Reacts To Atheist Comments

Good Ol' Eddy, puts the non believers in their place. And only using the Bible and an Old Testament era laptop.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Fuck Rush Limbaugh

A great song dedicated to the Leader of the Republican Party, The Portly Porker, Tea Party favorite, drug addict, draft dodger, and all time number one douche bag of the decade: Rush Limbaugh.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Larry Eats The Christmas Monkey

I thought He was a monkey!
Some Christmas cheer from the David household.

Put Some Ice On That

Another reason that the youth today are fucking imbeciles, and are not deserving of the world they are going to be inheriting.
I don't feel so bad about the Republicans destroying the ecosystem now.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Worst Apocalypse Ever

Well, another apocalypse has came and gone and the earth is still here.
The NRA is still here too. That asshole with the French name came out a few minutes ago and called for a cop at every school.
I guess we need that because we don't want our children living in a police state.
Bill O'Reilly can still hype up the War on Christmas. Happy Holidays, Bitch!
Boehner's "Plan B" is a failure. Maybe Plan C was the apocalypyse. If so, that failed too.
The so called fiscal cliff is still a reality. Fuck it. Leap off that mother fucker.
It is still seven goddam months until Breaking Bad comes back on. How many fucking raptures and shit between now and then?
Quentin Tarantino's movie "Django Unchained" starts on Christmas Day. I can't think of a better way to spend my money.
Obama is still the president, and while I think he is a marginally good president at best, he is light years ahead of what our alternative was. Plus the Republican tears are soooo fucking sweet.
The KKK is still here and are protesting the Westbourgho Baptist assholes. Dunno which side I should root for. Is it wrong to want both of them to be hit by a big fucking bus simultaneously?
Just some observations.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A tow truck driver has the worst day of his professional career. (so far)

... A Thousand Words

Here are some pictures I have came across on the Internets in the last couple of days.
I think I will just let them speak for themselves.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Old Dead Hands.

Remember this?
Back in the 20th century, sad has-been Charleton Heston challenged then Vice President Al Gore to pry that flintlock or musket or whatever the fuck it is out of his "cold dead hands".
Notice he didn't hold up a goddam assault rifle with a 30 round banana clip, did he?
It was easy to make that defying stand as no one was concerned about a fucking Daniel Boone gun.
To bad Al Gore didn't take him up on it.
Responsible gun owners are one thing.
The NRA is another.
They are just a lobbying group for the gun manufacturers and mouthpiece of the Republican Party.
They stoke fear and hate into the stupid people of our country and keep the fire burning as hot as possible.
They have spawned an idiotic sub-culture that worships guns and fears the government.
It is time to do something. It is time to make the NRA as outdated and about as useful as that fucking muzzle loader of Hestons.
Fuck the NRA.

The Fuckit List

Inspired by the Bucket List that many people are keeping, the Fuckit List is my roster of things that I have no longer a desire to do or never intended to do in the first goddam place.
It is ever growing, but here are some of the things in no particular order that I have said Fuckit to so far.

1. Putting up Xmas decorations. Bah-fucking-humbug. The only thing worse than dragging that tangled mess out of the basement or attic and risking breaking your fucking neck putting it up, is taking it all back down. Santa and Baby Jesus can kiss my ass.
2. Seeing a movie starring Emenem or M&M or however the fuck you spell it.
3. Visiting Mexico. If I ever get the desire to visit some third world shithole with a bunch of Spanish jabbering people looking at me suspiciously, I will just drop in at the Tyson chicken processing plant in Baileyton, Al.
4. Snow skiing. Yeah, risk breaking bones while freezing my fucking ass off the whole time.
5. Swimming with the dolphins. Fuck that. You swim with them. I'll watch it on Youtube. Well, honestly, I probably won't do that either. Unless something funny happens. Then maybe.
6. Attending a hip-hop concert. What the fuck is hip-hop anyway? Rap with out the cussing?
7. Attending a Country and Western concert. If ever desire to see a bunch of drunken, yodeling and fiddling rednecks, I'll just go down the street a few blocks from my home.
8. Attending a Professional Wrestling event. See number 7.
9. Eating caviar. Ok. I tried it once. I don't care what anyone says, I think it is a joke someone pulled to see if they could get rich snobs to eat slimy glop. Kind of like the fable of the king with the invisible clothes.
10. Running with the bulls. The stupidity of that activity should be self explanatory. Besides, whenever I have seen it on TV, I always pulled for the bull. Be my luck the bull would score on my fat ass if I got out there now.

Well, that is part of my Fuckit List. I thought about typing some more of them here, but fuck it.

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Root of All Evil Part One

Let's play pretend.
Pretend you are godawful fucking rich. I mean so insanely wealthy that you will never have to worry about money the rest of your life. Neither will your kids, grand kids, or great grand kids.
You can do anything you want in this world that is physically or technologically possible to be done. Anything. You could fly to Paris for fucking breakfast whenever you want. Build your own goddam spaceship if you wanted to. Buy the fucking bar you are getting hammered at because you ain't ready for the last call.
That kind of rich.
What could be left to give you pleasure?
Well, if you are an American gazillionaire, you would probably find the only pleasure left is in making other people miserable.
Take your typical "job creator".
He and his homies come into a community. They notice that it has a manufacturing plant that is pretty much the anchor of the towns economy.
They then buy into it, aquiring a majority of the stocks. Borrow against the assets, give themselves HUGE fucking bonuses, then drive the company into the dirt causing it to go bankrupt, wiping out any pensions the workers may have or nullifying any labor contract that may be in place.
Remember, they are already richer than God before they did this.
This destroyed company is now worthless and can be bought up for pennies on the dollar. And since their probably is still a demand for whatever it was they were making, the whole kit and kaboodle is sent to China for the exploitation of slave children in sweat shops. This, of course, drives the stock up and the millionaire bastards get even fucking richer.
Now to be able to do this type of atrocity you would have to completely sever yourself from any empathy you may have for your fellow countrymen.
If you had compassion, it would be very discomforting to know that a wife was weeping in fear of the uncertain future, held tightly in her laid off husbands arms who was vainly whispering that things would be ok and he would find work somewhere.
To know that the kids would be told that Santa would not be coming this year, like he did last year, would cause normal compassionate people varying degrees of guilt and shame for causing it.
As a filthy rich millionaire, you would not only find these things pleasurable, you would, much like a sex addict, feverishly trying to pound out one more dry orgasm from his raw and abused member, while watching people exploited on underground porn, exploit the very same people you sent into bankruptcy as moochers and takers.
You would yell that they should quit drawing unemployment insurance and get off their lazy entitled asses and get to work.
You would gleefully point out that they should simply pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
You would whisper to a fellow millionaire, "Hey check this out. See if I can do it with a straight face", and then tell all these broken and destroyed families that you can help them by giving yourself yet another tax cut, after all you are a job creator.
If any displaced worker manages to have his voice heard, simple shout over it with all of the media you own and tell him he is in the place he is because it is the unions fault.
You could run for president. After all, George W. Bush got to be president for his own personal pleasure.
If that fails because your friends voter suppression scheme didn't work as planned, their would be no need to feel down.
Their are tons of working class people out there that you can exploit to get your spirits up.
Pull the strings of your state level politicians. Make them ramrod a union busting law through in the middle of the night in the biggest labor union built state in the country.
Do it during the holidays and consider it a Christmas gift.
Use the media you own to push for Medicare and Social Security cuts.
Offer as a compromise, making millionaire tax cuts permanent, to any ideas of letting the Bush era tax cuts expire as they were designed to do. Don't worry. The legislative politicians you are controlling have no danger of losing their seats because of the creative gerrymandering you engineered.

End Part 1.

The recent school shootings has put me off on writing this post for awhile. I will finish it up later.