Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Like a Dog Under a Shade Tree on a Hot Summer Day

The following is an event that I witnessed and I swear and affirm that it really happened. I am still at a loss to explain it, but it needs to be shared.

When I was in junior high school, a very remarkable event happened in my neighborhood.
A young boy about 5 or 6 was “helping” his daddy mow the lawn. For some reason, the father left the boy and the running mower alone and went in the house for something.
This was years before safety features were put on power equipment. I guess you see where this is going.
I can't remember exactly why, but the little boy put his hand up under the deck and it was horribly mangled by the spinning blade and had to be amputated at the wrist.
The whole town was shocked. This was before reattaching severed limbs was practical, though it had been done with limited success before that time.
Now here is the remarkable event I mentioned. A few weeks later after the wound had basically healed, the parents noticed a tiny bump on the end of the little boys stump. They didn't think much of it, but as the days and weeks went by, the bump started forming into the shape of a tiny hand. Fingers, thumbs, everything.
The doctors were shocked and at a complete loss for an explanation.
The tiny hand continued to grow and in almost a year it looked and acted completely normal as if their was never anything wrong. The only sign of the trauma was the scar on the wrist.
The parents placed this miraculous event as proof of a loving god. The father quit his job and started preaching the gospel, using the story of his son as the cornerstone of his evangelism.
Doctors were mystified, eventually accepting the miraculous explanation themselves.
The boy had absolutely no problems with his hand and grew up to play college and professional football.
I bet you have heard of him.
Joe Namath. Yes, Joe Namath, grew up to be one of the most famous and successful quarter backs in football history. Leading the University of Alabama to 2 National Championships and then as a pro player he led the New York Jets to a Super Bowl victory.
Most people never knew about his injury as a small child, as Joe rarely talked about it.
Even without people knowing, somehow he became known as the man with the miracle arm.
Joe Namath to this day still lives a normal life, with absolutely no problems with his hand.
Although not a man who makes a big thing in public about his faith, he has confirmed that he shares his fathers belief that it was a miracle from God that he has his hand and the talent that made him the success that he is.

What do you think about the story above? Amazing isn't it? A miracle that I witnessed with my own two eyes.
Well, not really. I sat down at the computer and made the whole thing up in less than 5 minutes. Yes, I pulled it straight from my ass in true Fox “News” fashion.
Those of you who know me probably had doubts. But I bet many of you believed the story.
That is what this post is about.
Why do rational people believe absurd stories?
Sarah Palin can get on TV and say that Democrats want to kill your grandparents with the new Healthcare Reform and people fucking believe it!
I'm sure that you have heard equally absurd stories or had them emailed to you. Like Mel Gibson had his face burned off as a kid, or any of the ludicrous Teabbager lies about Obama and Hillary Clinton.
For shits and giggles, copy and paste the above Namath story and send it to people you know. See how many people believe it is true.
I can go on and on about ludicrous stories, and I have in other posts, but I just want to talk about why, not what.
Ok, here's my theory. Well, I guess calling it my opinion is more accurate.
I remember reading where behavioral traits have been shown to be passed down the family tree genetically.
Look at religion. Generation after generation gets religious indoctrination drilled in their heads starting at a very young age.
These religious beliefs that include absurdities as sentient animals like talking snakes and donkeys are taking as facts.
To many of these people, the Garden of Eden story is a fact. Noah's Ark. The sun stopping in the sky. Walking on water. You get the idea.
People believe these old Bronze Age fairy tales with no doubt. In fact, it is the skeptic whose sanity is often called into question when expressing disbelief in these stories.
Over the centuries, this irrational desire to believe the ludicrous has been drilled in the heads of the human race so much, it is now embedded in our DNA.
Now people, without question, will believe idiocy like; the President is not an American citizen. That Bill Gates is giving away millions of dollars to people who will forward his email. That decorated combat heroes faked their injuries to get purple hearts. The list of nonsense goes on and on.
Now, after generations of indoctrination being genetically encoded in our DNA, people will embrace bullshit without question.
Like I mentioned in an earlier blog post, I don't really think these people believe this shit, as much as they want to believe.
They want to believe in a heavenly afterlife so they can go see grandma again. They want to believe there is an everlasting burning Hell, so that bastard neighbor who cut down that disputed tree on the border of their yards can go suffer forever.
With this behavior encoded in our DNA, we want to believe. Just like you wanted to believe that horseshit story I wrote about Joe Namath.
Conservatives want to believe that Obama is an illegitimate president.
Teabaggers want to believe that Sarah Palin is right, and the government will start using euthanasia on old people.
This is not a new thing either. Years ago, some people realized that the population had a tendency to believe just about anything they heard on the radio or saw on the TV, so they came up with the Fairness Doctrine.
All this did was mandate that strong opinions that were expressed on the airwaves had a chance to be rebutted with an opposing viewpoint.
The Reagan administration killed this Doctrine and as a result we now have A.M. Hate Radio, and unchallenged corporate controlled news.
I don't think anyone can honestly say that the likes of Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, O'Reilly, etc. would ever have gained the popularity they have if an opportunity was given after ever show refuting the bullshit they just spewed.
Should we worry about people believing horeshit without question? Hell fucking yeah we should!
Bullshit can be fun to punk your family and friends with, but when corporations get in on it they can turn the course of the country to dangerous directions.
Just look at the lies of a decade ago; lies about Saddam's involvement in the 9-11 terrorist attack turned half the U.S. population into supporting an illegal and unjustified war.
We need a healthy does of skepticism to keep things honest. Otherwise charlatans will run roughshod over everybody, tricking people out of liberty and treasure.
I'm not saying I am immune to being tricked. I've had my share of being punked, but I'm pretty sure if a former swimsuit model MILF with nice tits starts telling me that the government wants to kill grandma, it will raise a flag. I'll probably nod as if I'm listening intently while actually wondering how somebody can be that batshit insane and still have a nice rack.
I'm kinda weird that way.
For more ludicrous entertainment check out the following video.
If your eyeballs haven't rolled out of the fucking sockets by the time it is over with, read some more of my commentary about it below the video.

Well, if you watched it and can still read this, your eyeballs didn't roll out. IT'S A MIRACLE!
I really don't know which is worse, this confused little boy obviously being coached, (Jesus has sea blue eyes and a smile that lights up the universe) or a supposed journalist asking said boy, “What about Jesus?” with the same mannerisms that you would ask a world leader about the value of world currency.
I imagine lots of people will believe this story, especially Fox “News” Fans. That would explain why they are promoting their book there.
I said it once, and I'll say it again, chickens don't like wearing suspenders. But that has nothing to do with anything.
But I sure would like to have the mailing list of these gullible people.
They will buy anything.
That is why we had a moron for a president for 8 years.
It is a very dangerous thing.

No comments:

Post a Comment