Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Random Musings By a Surly Old Fart

Giving praise to the Democratic Party for finally passing DADT repeal and START is like heaping praise on a school boy who finally finished his homework assignment 2 weeks late. That shit should have been on Obama's desk for signature by March of 2008 at the latest.

I'm still waiting on that trickle down from the millionaires and billionaires to fix the country. Maybe if we give it about 50 more years?

Books are like people, you open either one up and they are red (read) inside. Of course, opening up a person can be messy and more than likely he won't go for that shit.
Unless it has pretty pictures on the inside, a social conservative will close the book faster than he opened it.

Dean Wormer was wrong. Going through life fat, drunk, and lazy seems to be working just fine.

People afflicted with lycanthropy probably had a rough time if they worked for the Apollo program back in the 60s.

Christian persecution used to mean being fed to the lions or some other horrible shit. Evidently now it means saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.

I am so old I can remember being proud to call myself a Democrat. Now I can only say I am proud that I have never been a Republican.

Hearing a social conservative tell me that evolution is only a “theory” makes me want to push their dumb ass onto the ground and scream, “So is fucking gravity!”

Michael Vick tortured and killed dogs. I wonder if he wasn't a highly skilled professional football player, would the cries of “he deserves a second chance” be as loud? How about if he was a child molester? Wouldn't he deserve a second chance then too?
Fuck Michael Vick.

I saw the movie “Buried” last week at the cheap-o dollar movie theater. It is still fucking with my head.

Until just a few years ago, the Speaker of the House has always been a white male. Then a woman got it. Next month a man of color will sit in that seat. Who knew that color would be orange?

Fact: As long as conservatives have a say so in government on this planet, the High Council on Zenith Prime will never allow Earth to join the Galactic Federation.

Whenever it threatens to snow here, all the stores sell out of milk and bread. WTF? Milk and bread? Is that the basic staple to survive the few hours of being snowed in in Alabama? Wouldn't potato chips and beer make more sense?

Drive-way, park-way, strip-mall, and poop-deck are named wrong. You can get your ass in trouble if you do what the name implies.

Money will not buy you happiness, but it will pay for making the swelling go down.

Fact: People who eat bacon are much happier than people who don't. You know it's true.

It is one sorry ass mother fucker that would charge you a goddam dollar so you can put air in your tire.

Never underestimate the ability of an Alabama politician to embarrass the fuck out of you over and over.

Heavy Metal doesn't sound as good as it used to.

Country Music sounds even worse than it used to. (I didn't think that could be possible)

Even though he is in Glenn Beck's shadow, Rush Limbaugh is still a flaming Nazi gasbag.

That's all I got right now. I need to go run those little bastards off my fucking lawn.

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