Friday, May 29, 2009

Only a Republican Could

I have to admit something here. I really enjoy making fun of Republicans. I mean, I REALLY enjoy it.
Does that make me a bad person? I do have the occasional second thought whenever I point at some fucktardary and laugh hysterically. I would never laugh at a fat lady slipping on a banana peel, or a child with his head stuck in an industrial sized can of Van Camps pork and beans, so why do I find these other equally tragic events funny?
At my local watering hole, I overheard a couple of the fucktards that were bellied up to the bar opining about gay marriage.
One of the guys, who believe it or not I call a friend, actually said that he was opposed to gay marriage because the act itself will cause more diseases and healthcare was already expensive enough.
After I recoverd from the long bout of laughter, I noticed that the fellow he had been talking with had relocated away from him, obviously embarrassed at the thought of being lumped in with that fucktard reasoning.
The fellow making the statement actually thinks the act of cohabitation between two men will create germs and bacteria out of nothing. Poor guy. Should I be laughing at him? Probably not, but WTF?
Another topic at the watering hole that everyone seems to agree on, is the justification or water boarding.
To a person, with yours truly being the sole light of reason in the bleak world of fucktardary, they follow this line of thought on the subject:
Them: "Waterboarding isn't torture."
Me: "What? Of Course it is!"
Them: "No, it is just holding them down and sprinkling them with water. Anyone can handle it, it isn't torture."
Me: "Then what is the purpose of doing it? If it is harmless, why would the subject give up secrets?"
Them: Silence
Me: "I mean come on, I have heard proponents of waterboarding say that they start singing immediately. That they have extracted information from resistant terrorists because of it. If it is harmless, why did they give it up?"
Them: "There you go! You just admitted that it works!"
Me: "I said supporters of waterboarding said it works. Do you think it works?"
Them: "Yes, I think it works. We are safer because of it."
Me: "But you never answered, why would a suspect confess during waterboarding if it wasn't torture? Surely you don't think a hardened criminal would break after just a few seconds of this if it wasn't really traumatic?"
Them: "Fuck 'em. Even if it is torture, if it keeps America safe, we should use it."
Me: "But torture is illegal. Even your hero George W. Bush says so."
Them: "What ever".
Me: "Aren't you the one that was yelling 'we are a nation of laws' when Clinton was accused of lying about a blowjob? What happened? We can break laws now?"
Them: "Nancy Pelosi new about it too".
Me: "Fuck Nancy Pelosi."
Them: "Well if she knew she should be punished too."
Me: "I agree."
Them: Silence.
Me: "Well, I am glad we reached a common ground. We both seem to think that torture is a crime and people who do it should be held accountable."
Them: Silence.
Me: "Right?"
Them: "They only did it to three people."
Me: "Sigh."
Thus is the mentality of the Alabama fucktard. And these particular fucktards are college educated, work for NASA or the Army Missile Command or any of several high tech companies around the Rocket City area. Just imagine how it is when you get out of the city and into the rural areas.
Of course the word empathy has become something terrible to the fucktard mind. Turn on Fox "News" at any given time and you will hear wailing and gnashing of the teeth by whichever commentator happens to be on. Empathy, these geniuses have been known to say, is code word for liberal activism or legislating from the bench.
My question is, why would Sotomayor or Obama have wanted to send out code words?
Fuck, she already has the job by any reasonable standard. Barring a successful filibuster (come on, don't you secretly wish the Pugs were stupid enough to try it?) she will be the successor of Justice Souter.
So, why in Hell would she send out code words? Something is wrong with a code system that only your enemies pick up. I'm a liberal and I know lots of liberals and none of them have mentioned cracking the da Sotomayor Code.
Maybe Obama has hatched an evil scheme with his army of mad scientists to beam code words into Glen Becks atrophied brain and make his head explode. Fuck that would be cool.
The answer is plain and simple. Republicans are the party of no. They can no more support Obama than Rush Limbaugh can turn down a pork chop.
The GOP. The party of torture and the warriors against empathy.
Come on and join me and pointing and laughing at them.


  1. Funny how they mimic the brainwashing leaders of their party, but cannot answer when intelligent questions are posed.

  2. Republicans are the party of no? It sounds like you guys are the ones that have been brainwashed by your party leaders. Republicans offered multiple alternatives to the "stimulus" package and none of them were considered out of committee. Some of them weren't even read by the committee. I guess that's not surprising though since most congressmen didn't even read the bill they passed. While negotiating with Republicans, Obama simply said "I won." And you have the audacity to say Republicans are "the party of no" when your party refused to even consider Republican ideas just because Republicans came up with them. Wow.

    And Sotomayor hasn't used any code words. She said outright that policy is made in the court. That's called liberal activism. She also said she would make a better justice because she's not white. That's called racism.

  3. If you noticed FoB never mentioned what any of the multiple alternatives the Pugs offered to the stimulous. Other than just another tax cut for rich people they had squat.
    And as far as Sotomayor not using code words, don't tell me that FoB, tell your Fox "News" buddies.

  4. That's not true at all. Republicans in the Senate and the House drafted several alternatives. For your convenience I've linked to a summary of one of the proposals below. Sorry if it was too much to ask you to google "republican alternatives to the stimulus package."

    It's ok if you didn't hear about it. I'm sure your MSNBC "news" buddies tried to tell you the Republicans didn't do anything.

    Also, I don't have Fox News buddies; I don't even have a TV.

    And as far as dodging an argument about Sotomayor, I totally understand. Even a moderate judge said her one-paragraph opinion on the New Haven firefighter case "ignored the evidence and did not even address the constitutional issues raised."

  5. Your blog truncated that link, you'll need to put both of these lines together.

  6. LOL, thank god the Repugs are not in control. That is all I can say about that. Sheesh

  7. Continuing with the typical liberal evasion tactics I see.

    Yeah, it's a good thing liberals are in charge, pushing up interest rates with their reckless borrowing:

    They seem to know exactly what they're doing.

    But really, I'd like you to explain how cutting taxes for small businesses was a bad idea. My roommate that worked for a company of 10 people was just layed off this week. If they had the tax cut slated by conservatives, maybe he and thousands like him wouldn't be losing jobs. Instead the liberals have effectively reduced credit margins, increased intrest rates, and made it even harder for companies to get the loans they need.

    It's even more ironic that you find conservative ideas laughable in comparison to subsidizing digital television, funding tattoo removal, and providing tax breaks to Hollywood.

    Meanwhile, cities that have the highest job losses are actually getting the least money from stimulus funds. Don't you realize the money is not being spent to stimulate the economy?