A tow truck driver has the worst day of his professional career. (so far)

... A Thousand Words

Here are some pictures I have came across on the Internets in the last couple of days.
I think I will just let them speak for themselves.

Old Dead Hands.

Remember this?
Back in the 20th century, sad has-been Charleton Heston challenged then Vice President Al Gore to pry that flintlock or musket or whatever the fuck it is out of his "cold dead hands".
Notice he didn't hold up a goddam assault rifle with a 30 round banana clip, did he?
It was easy to make that defying stand as no one was concerned about a fucking Daniel Boone gun.
To bad Al Gore didn't take him up on it.
Responsible gun owners are one thing.
The NRA is another.
They are just a lobbying group for the gun manufacturers and mouthpiece of the Republican Party.
They stoke fear and hate into the stupid people of our country and keep the fire burning as hot as possible.
They have spawned an idiotic sub-culture that worships guns and fears the government.
It is time to do something. It is time to make the NRA as outdated and about as useful as that fucking muzzle loader of Hestons.
Fuck the NRA.

The Fuckit List

Inspired by the Bucket List that many people are keeping, the Fuckit List is my roster of things that I have no longer a desire to do or never intended to do in the first goddam place.
It is ever growing, but here are some of the things in no particular order that I have said Fuckit to so far.

1. Putting up Xmas decorations. Bah-fucking-humbug. The only thing worse than dragging that tangled mess out of the basement or attic and risking breaking your fucking neck putting it up, is taking it all back down. Santa and Baby Jesus can kiss my ass.
2. Seeing a movie starring Emenem or M&M or however the fuck you spell it.
3. Visiting Mexico. If I ever get the desire to visit some third world shithole with a bunch of Spanish jabbering people looking at me suspiciously, I will just drop in at the Tyson chicken processing plant in Baileyton, Al.
4. Snow skiing. Yeah, risk breaking bones while freezing my fucking ass off the whole time.
5. Swimming with the dolphins. Fuck that. You swim with them. I'll watch it on Youtube. Well, honestly, I probably won't do that either. Unless something funny happens. Then maybe.
6. Attending a hip-hop concert. What the fuck is hip-hop anyway? Rap with out the cussing?
7. Attending a Country and Western concert. If ever desire to see a bunch of drunken, yodeling and fiddling rednecks, I'll just go down the street a few blocks from my home.
8. Attending a Professional Wrestling event. See number 7.
9. Eating caviar. Ok. I tried it once. I don't care what anyone says, I think it is a joke someone pulled to see if they could get rich snobs to eat slimy glop. Kind of like the fable of the king with the invisible clothes.
10. Running with the bulls. The stupidity of that activity should be self explanatory. Besides, whenever I have seen it on TV, I always pulled for the bull. Be my luck the bull would score on my fat ass if I got out there now.

Well, that is part of my Fuckit List. I thought about typing some more of them here, but fuck it.

The Root of All Evil Part One

Let's play pretend.
Pretend you are godawful fucking rich. I mean so insanely wealthy that you will never have to worry about money the rest of your life. Neither will your kids, grand kids, or great grand kids.
You can do anything you want in this world that is physically or technologically possible to be done. Anything. You could fly to Paris for fucking breakfast whenever you want. Build your own goddam spaceship if you wanted to. Buy the fucking bar you are getting hammered at because you ain't ready for the last call.
That kind of rich.
What could be left to give you pleasure?
Well, if you are an American gazillionaire, you would probably find the only pleasure left is in making other people miserable.
Take your typical "job creator".
He and his homies come into a community. They notice that it has a manufacturing plant that is pretty much the anchor of the towns economy.
They then buy into it, aquiring a majority of the stocks. Borrow against the assets, give themselves HUGE fucking bonuses, then drive the company into the dirt causing it to go bankrupt, wiping out any pensions the workers may have or nullifying any labor contract that may be in place.
Remember, they are already richer than God before they did this.
This destroyed company is now worthless and can be bought up for pennies on the dollar. And since their probably is still a demand for whatever it was they were making, the whole kit and kaboodle is sent to China for the exploitation of slave children in sweat shops. This, of course, drives the stock up and the millionaire bastards get even fucking richer.
Now to be able to do this type of atrocity you would have to completely sever yourself from any empathy you may have for your fellow countrymen.
If you had compassion, it would be very discomforting to know that a wife was weeping in fear of the uncertain future, held tightly in her laid off husbands arms who was vainly whispering that things would be ok and he would find work somewhere.
To know that the kids would be told that Santa would not be coming this year, like he did last year, would cause normal compassionate people varying degrees of guilt and shame for causing it.
As a filthy rich millionaire, you would not only find these things pleasurable, you would, much like a sex addict, feverishly trying to pound out one more dry orgasm from his raw and abused member, while watching people exploited on underground porn, exploit the very same people you sent into bankruptcy as moochers and takers.
You would yell that they should quit drawing unemployment insurance and get off their lazy entitled asses and get to work.
You would gleefully point out that they should simply pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
You would whisper to a fellow millionaire, "Hey check this out. See if I can do it with a straight face", and then tell all these broken and destroyed families that you can help them by giving yourself yet another tax cut, after all you are a job creator.
If any displaced worker manages to have his voice heard, simple shout over it with all of the media you own and tell him he is in the place he is because it is the unions fault.
You could run for president. After all, George W. Bush got to be president for his own personal pleasure.
If that fails because your friends voter suppression scheme didn't work as planned, their would be no need to feel down.
Their are tons of working class people out there that you can exploit to get your spirits up.
Pull the strings of your state level politicians. Make them ramrod a union busting law through in the middle of the night in the biggest labor union built state in the country.
Do it during the holidays and consider it a Christmas gift.
Use the media you own to push for Medicare and Social Security cuts.
Offer as a compromise, making millionaire tax cuts permanent, to any ideas of letting the Bush era tax cuts expire as they were designed to do. Don't worry. The legislative politicians you are controlling have no danger of losing their seats because of the creative gerrymandering you engineered.

End Part 1.

The recent school shootings has put me off on writing this post for awhile. I will finish it up later.

GOP: Close The Door On The Way Out

I remember this time four years ago, I thought that there could not be a more lopsided presidential race.
After all, Grandpa McCain had just picked an unvetted former swimsuit model to be his running mate, on top of coming off of the worse White House administration in the countries history.
The GOP was in a death spiral.
Then two years later, the fringe lunatics of the party managed to seize power in the mid terms, exploiting the fears of racists and imbeciles that the evil black man was going to take their guns from them and force them to marry a queer.
With that bunch or morons calling the shots, the GOP ran one helluva wacky ass clown car of a primary finally having to settle on a Massachusetts liberal they hated almost as much as they hated Obama. 
This lopsidedness makes 08 laughable.
Basically all Obama has to do now is just sit back and watch the implosion.
And that is what is happening with the GOP. Imploding. Ever seen a movie with a submarine having a hull breach? The vessel crumples in on itself.
That is what the Romney campaign looks like. It is not a slow motion train wreck as depicted by so many. It is a massive turd that has collapsed from its own weight and is now drying in the sun. A smudge of shit that is so massive, that people can not help but point and laugh while simultaneously being shocked and disgusted.
Sad really. While I was intending to give my vote to Obama, I was hoping that he would have to fight for it. Or at least act like he had to break a sweat to get it.
There is stuff to be critical of Obama and his first term. Unfortunately, he doesn't have to address that now. 
The GOP couldn't or wouldn't focus on an honest debate. Instead they elevated idiocy like the Birthers and tin foil hat wearing nutjobs to a national level and ran with that.
That was the only way they saw to be able to keep from having to pay their fair share of taxes.
Republican Party... It has been a hoot, but you won't be missed. Well, maybe a little... Like a toothache.

The Abominable List of Abominations.

The old Bronze Age fairy tale that people call the Holy Bible has its god naming off some of the things it believes to be abominations.
Most of them I am sure you have already heard: Men cornholing other men as they would cornhole a woman, eating bacon (despite the same god making bacon taste so fucking good and making a whole goddam animal out of it), wearing poly blend slacks, mixing your seeds up in your garden, having contact with a woman who is shopping for tampons, etc.
I suppose those are all fine abominations if you are one to believe in talking snakes and virgin births, but my list of abominations is better.
That's right. I have my own list of abominations. And my abominations are more abominable.
So, in no particular order, here are are a list of things that I find as an abomination in my eye:
1. Walking around with the waist of your pants below the crotch. Neither I, the talking snake, nor anyone else gives a shit about seeing your drawers. You are an abomination in my eye. If you do it, don't cry when everyone in society points and laughs at you.
2. Escargot and caviar. I can't believe that the Almighty has no problem with this slimy abomination, yet declared bacon and pork chops off limits. You eat either of those disgusting vomit inducers, you are truly an abomination in the eyes of me, the Lord, Satan and just about anyone else. Either that, or you are French. Which is almost an abomination in itself.
3. Playing rap "music" on anything other than earphones is an atrocious abomination. Subjecting anyone to that fucking shit should be an automatic sentence of listening to Charlie Daniels fiddle for 7 straight days. Harsh, I know. But the point needs to be put across.
4. Jersey Shore. Enough said.
5. Any religion created after 1400 AD. Fucking hell! Wasn't there enough goddam religions before the age of enlightenment? Mormonism. Seriously? Planet Kolob? And what the fuck is the deal with Scientology? That was invented in the 1950s! I was born in the 1950s! Surely by then we had enough goddam religions? (we had enough goddam states too, I'm looking at you Alaska)
6. Twilight. See number 4.
7. Candy bars being turned into ice cream. What the fuck? Am I not fat enough?
8. Putting mayonnaise on a goddam hot dog. I personally don't believe in the death penalty, but this abomination almost makes me reconsider it.
9. Wearing sandals with over the calf black socks. This dress code abomination almost ranks up there with number 1. If you were planning on wearing socks to begin with, why the fuck did you think that you should put on sandals? Truly an abomination even to those of us who are fashion challenged.
10. Using a cell phone in a movie theater. States and local governments pass laws all the time about using a cell phone while operating a motor vehicle, but ignore this abomination. It is high time we wrote our congressman and demanded legislation outlawing this abominable act. Patrons should have the right to seize and destroy these devices upon demand.
Well, there you have it. A list of true abominations. I have more, but I thought I would stop at 10. I may list more later.
At the moment, my co-workers are coming back in from their Chick-fil-a run to support the expressing of traditional biblical marriages, so I need to look like I am busy.
So far none came back with additional wives or concubines. Some came back with hamburgers because they didn't want to wait in a long line with their fellow fag bashers. I suppose it was to long to wait for cock.